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Feb 25, 2017

NAME THAT PATTERN -- Comeback Edition!

Readers, it was time.

The sewing blogosphere hasn't been the same since I retired NAME THAT PATTERN, the Internet's favorite sewing pattern game.  So I'm delighted to report that we're back, and with straighter teeth, fuller lips, and a noticeably firmer jawline,

After our long absence, perhaps you've forgotten how to play NAME THAT PATTERN.  It's simple: I post photos of patterns I've found online, and you give them funny names.  As always, we have some fabulous prizes for our winners, including a highly collectible box of Trump steaks only slightly past their expiration date.

With no further delay, let's get started.  Presenting PATTERN #1!

At a loss?  Re-center yourself with PATTERN #2!

Warming up?  Please give a big MPB welcome to PATTERN #3!

But wait -- there's more.  Here's PATTERN #4!

Alas, our Comeback edition is drawing to a close.  Let's hear it for PATTERN #5!

NOT SO FAST --  we still have our BONUS PATTERN, for NAME THAT PATTERN enthusiasts clamoring for more.  It's PATTERN #6!

Friends, I hope you've enjoyed this very special Comeback edition of NAME THAT PATTERN.  As you know, you can name any or all of the above patterns, though only those naming ALL six patterns will be eligible for those yummy steaks.  Naturally, I'll be playing, as will Michael, and who knows -- maybe even Willy and Freddy!

Are you ready?  Then on your marks, get set, NAME THAT PATTERN!


  1. #1 “Knitwit: For those smoldering, sexy nights when you don’t have to lead your church youth group”
    #2 Backstage at the Jerry Springer Show: “My twin sister dresses like a ho”
    #3 Mrs. Little Bo Smithers, née Peep
    #4 “Why, yes, Bentley, I would say that, indubitably, those pants DO make your butt look big.”
    #5 All the other girls at Fairy H.S. would snub Tinkerbell at the prom.
    #6 Colin hoped his understudy in Guys and Dolls never had to go on, as his bedtime came before Act 2 started.

  2. 1. Despite posing in body-hugging double-knits, Ralph's modeling career went nowhere.
    2. Watching The Stepford Wives in 3D (without the glasses)
    3. Cynthia models "Trainwreck in Tulle."
    4. "A little Desitin ointment will clear that right up."
    5. Nothing says "unwrap me" like an oversized bow!
    6. Honey, I Shrank Frank Sinatra

  3. 1. 70's pimp casual
    2. The long and short of the Doublemint twins.
    3. Miss Havisham - the early years
    4. No, I didn't poop - it was just flatulence from my flat bottom.
    5. To Bow or not to Bow - that is the question
    6. Mini Me -the 1920 gangster edition

  4. 1. Knit Wit for Nit Wits
    The Long and the Short of It
    Little Bo Peep Wedding Dress
    Anaconda PJ's
    Social Butterfly
    Me and Mini-Me Gangsta

  5. pattern #1 is 'The Moustache is a Condition of My Parole'.
    pattern #3 is '...and driven by instinct, the sperm swims towards the egg'.

  6. your prize just made me spit coffee in the computer so I am disqualified to compete. But I love the comments.

  7. 1. KnitNot
    …or just bad memories of the 70s
    2. Mini/Maxi Cocktail Wear for Twins with Roseacea
    3. Wedding-Dress-of-Indecision
    4. PJs styled just right for those casusal lean on a chair pipe-smokin' little chats, huh?
    5. Stash Busters
    6. I'm sure it must be taken already, but ZootSuiter and MiniZee, of course. Though the pants are actually fabulous.

  8. 1. I believe this is an Australian brand - proving that bad men's fashion is a problem of international proportions
    2. Dolly the sheep isn't the only cloned Dolly.
    3.couldn't decide on which sleeves to go with so she decided to have both in the one dress.
    4. Did you mess your pants?
    5. Fairies in the garden!
    6. Twins; starring Arnold Schwarzenegger & Danny DeVitp

  9. 1. Monkee Suit.
    5. Bubble-icious.

  10. Looks like a Joan sandwich to me.

  11. #1. It names itself leave off the K.
    #2. The doublemint triplets
    #3. the only bridal gown with it's storage bag cleverly included in the sleeves!
    #4. The fly on the side, for those with anatomical variations.
    #5. Maternity wear for the non-pregnant woman.
    #6. Daddy and me gangsta!

  12. 1. The sleeves might be set in but the rest is negotiable
    2. When Charlie went broke, the Angels had to make cuts - to their hemlines!
    3. Can't do straight pleats? Necklines always end up wonky and shapeless? Don't know how to finish sleeves? We have the perfect wedding dress pattern for you; and we'll even throw in a free hat from someone who knows as much about millinery as you do about dressmaking!
    4. Now that's what I call a Hong Kong Seam!
    5.New Sizing - hours of research to get the perfect fit for these tailored ........ smocks
    6. Zoot suit sizes small - x large (pattern includes seam allowances of 2 1/2 feet for extra flexibility)

  13. 1. My mom made me this shirt.
    2. To make a long story short...
    3. Bouffant afterthought
    4. I used to have that problem too, Bob, until I moved the fly to the front.
    5. Gift wrapped
    6. Zoot Suit kindergarten

  14. And then Faye Dunaway, robbed of her Oscar for Joan Crawford, misstates the winner and we all go home hating Kimmel.

    1. Have I been in a bubble? I thought the winner was "Around the World in Eighty Days"!

  15. 1. Things were different in the 70's
    2. McCalls 3839: Attack of the clones
    3. They aren't gloves, they're not sleeves, they're Sloves
    4. Sir, do you mind! Nope, not a bit.
    5. I like big bows and I cannot lie!
    6. Well, Junior, you have to learn the ropes sometime

  16. 1. Porn 'stache optional
    2. Day and Night dresses - just zip off/on half the skirt.
    3. I went to a garden party...
    4. Yea, you did sit on the doggie doo
    5. Bows for Beaus
    6. 'Daddy and Me' Zoot Suits

  17. Oh boy, its like a continuous going out of business sale. LAST CHANCE. I hope I have time to play before this one ends !

  18. 1. Hide the kids
    2. Girl's Night Out w/ the Shining Twins
    3. Looking for Lost Sheep
    4. Does this make my butt look big
    5. Baby Doll Boogie
    6. The Godfather and Son pre prison collection

  19. 1. Flammable fabric required
    2. I really can shorten it after!
    3. All about dat sleeve
    4. WTF Jammies
    5. Bitch Please
    6. Hoosier Daddy Suits (For you and your daddy)

    1. 1.
      2. Short or long, short or long, eenie, meanie, miney, mo ... long it shall be.
      3. The Really Useful Wedding Dress: store your bouquet in the sleeves.
      4. Darn, I think it was poison ivy.
      5. Really not sure, do you think the bow should be bigger?
      6. Oh goodie, it's Daddy and me suit and tie day again.

    2. Love your comments. You need to be a judge on project runway. Lol

  20. 1. porn stache knit wit from the 70's
    2. Stepford Wives do the Hokey Pokey..Left foot in
    3. sleeves like butterfly nets with petite bow butterfly
    4. East Indian tunic style pajamas for the white dudes
    5. Butterfly back bows with swish swing skirts
    B. Mobster and Son , Sunday suits

  21. A little late to the game, but...
    1) My son the model. Never had a lesson.
    2) Bridesmaids, then sister wives.
    3) Wedding gown and mosquito net for that destination wedding.
    4) Naughty Dr. Dentons.
    5) Cosplay Shirley Temple (and stashbuster).
    6) I don't care if he is my grandson, I'm not tailoring a whole friggin suit for a three-year-old.

  22. 1. Journey to the Center of the Earth Tones
    2. Polyester Jersey Girls
    3. Bride of Frankenpattern
    4. "Let's just call it a 'prominent seat.'"
    5. Swing Shift
    6. EXCLUSIVE: Gary Cooper and Mickey Rooney's Secret Romance!

  23. 1: OK Fred: ready to hit the disco and pick up a couple o' hot chicks?!
    2: Where Angels go, double follows!
    3: Is that a bird? Is that a plane?
    4: Hey Frank: would ya look at this hemorrhoid and tell me what ya think?
    5: Oh Marigold! You finally sprouted your wings!!!
    6: I HATE it when your Mother makes us wear matching outfits!

  24. 1. Will this get caught in my Chest Expander ?
    2. From the sublime to the ridiculous.
    3. Oh look - more ridiculous
    4. That's not a placid; this is a placid !
    5. Well the material was cheap.
    6. This does not quite Tie in.

  25. Does anyone happen to know the pattern number for #5? I can't help but love it.


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