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May 23, 2014

NAME THAT PATTERN - Spring 2014 Edition!

Friends throughout the world, it's time once again to play the sewing blogosphere's favorite pattern-naming game, NAME THAT PATTERN!

I've chosen a rare group of highly collectable patterns on the Internet.  (Please note: These are NOT in my possession so I cannot send them to you no matter how badly you may want them.  They can be purchased on Etsy for a song, however.)

The rules are simple: I post a pattern, you give it a name.  We have some amazing prizes in store for our winner, including a six-month supply of Singer sewing machine oil!

All right, contestants, on your mark, get set....NAME THAT PATTERN!

Here's Pattern #1!


Next up, Pattern #2!

Still with us?  Give a warm welcome to Pattern #3!

If you lived through the Eighties, you may remember Pattern #4!

Finally, we wind down with Pattern #5!


BUT WAIT: We have a special (ADULTS ONLY) bonus pattern for our overachievers: Pattern #6!

Friends, I hope you've enjoyed this edition of NAME THAT PATTERN.

As always, to be eligible for our grand prize, you must name all the above patterns.  If you can only name one or two, however, please do -- we could all use the laughs.

I'll be playing too, of course, and so will Michael (or else).

Don't delay, folks: jump in and Name that pattern!


  1. 1) "We're just a laugh a minute. Jesters R Us, for all your comedic party needs!"
    2) For all those messy eaters at church potluck suppers
    3) Trying to prevent your scary baby doll from going to hell unbaptized?
    4) Shapeless Star Trek!
    5) Collars, belts, and bows, oh MY!
    6) For all your bathtime fun!

  2. 1) Hats of Fools
    2) Scary Frills for Spooky Girls
    3) Ye Olde Victorian Mourning Gown, cross ref. "waxen," "shroud"
    4) Roxie and her sisters: Moxie, Foxy, and Boxy
    5) Dress for Redress
    6) Frothy Fun or Scrub Me with Your Loofah Sponge

  3. Pattern #1: ‘Phish Concert Wardrobe’
    Pattern #2: ‘Olson Twins Napkin Holders’
    Pattern #3: ‘Baby Morgue Dress-Up Playtime’
    Pattern #4: ‘Ironing Board Cover’
    Pattern #5: ‘Sew Your Own Birth Control’
    Pattern #6: ‘Gifts To Sew For Your Husband’s Secretary’

  4. Pattern #1: Fleece Fun For Foolish Families
    Pattern #2: "Come to Church with us Danny"
    Pattern #3: Baby Nightmare's Christening Dress
    Pattern #4: Boxy Lady
    Pattern #5: Mary Poppins Accessory Set
    Pattern #6: Terrycloth Terrors for you and him!

  5. 1. Will you FLEECE take off that silly hat!
    2. "Return to Village of the Damned"
    3. Baby Not-So-Alive Doll
    4. Plywood panel prevents wrinkling
    5. Peppy and Preppy!
    6. Not tonight, honey, I have to craft.

  6. Pattern #1- Wabbit Ears?
    Pattern #2-Thank Goodness We Are Not Twins!?!?!?
    Pattern#3-Asleep At Last!!!! shoot
    Pattern#4-My Napoleon Phase.
    Pattern #5-Spy Wear Through The Ages.
    Pattern#6-Yea Haw! Co-Ed Showers!!!!!!!

  7. 1. The fleecing of america
    2. Un ring bear able
    3. Bride of Chuckie
    4. Behind door number 4
    5. Jazz hands
    6. Don't drop the soap

  8. I can only name one pattern, #2 - Sharp intake of breath

  9. 1. Shhhh...we're huntin wabbit.
    2. Those stylin twins from The Shining!
    3. Chubby drunken uncle plays baby
    4. Hot Sex!
    5. Elaine costume (from the movie Airplane!)
    6. Oh chet, you shouldn't have

  10. 1. Dad had a brain injury, 2. Toddlers and Tea Cosies, 3. Dead Baby Joke, 4. Angela Merkle's Negligee, 5. The Official Preppy Handjob, 6. 80s Chick Flick with Toiletries

  11. 1. Fleece in Hell Headwear for the Family.
    2. Planet Victoriana Alien Twin and Robot Girls' Holy Communion Dresses.
    3. My Dolly Playtime Funeral Apparel.
    4. The Power Flap Dress (includes 2 shoulder pad options with full directions).
    5. Ladies' favorite restaurants and baking product brands bow-ties and accessories.
    6. Let's-Shave-Each-Other-First His & Her Spa Attire and Organizers.

    ~Jen (NY)

  12. 1. Fool for Fleece
    2. Flower girl Fullbacks
    3. Arsenic & Old Lace
    4. Melanie Griffith's Working Girl Wardrobe can be yours
    5. Prim, Proper, Preppy
    6. Just add water

  13. 1. Social kamikaze helmets.
    2. Little Miss Heavyweight Bodybuilder pageant dresses.
    3. Little baby exorcism.
    4. Why some women drink to forget the 80s
    5. "I'm an intellectual and you're just shallow"
    6. Swedish honeymoon essentials.

    On another note I need to buy pattern number 1 and make it and wear it. It's whimsically, tragically beautiful.

  14. 1. Cash cow

    I made two dozen of the view E jester hats (bells extra) after people saw the one I'd made for my husband. So little work for the money. I can vouch that view A makes you a ringer for the Statue of Liberty (I only made one of those for obvious reasons)

  15. 1. 'Nineties Rave Fleece Hat Assortment
    2. Toddlers and Tiaras Season Seven - The Shining
    3. Sudden Infant Death Christening Gown
    4. Misses' Double-Breasted Migraine Coat
    5. Murderous Ventriloquist Dummy costume, with accessories and collar variations.
    6. His N' Hers "Do You Swing?" Bath Sets

  16. #1 - To Each His Cl-Own
    #2 - Plus-Size Lullaby League
    #3 - The Smothered Brother
    #4 - Bullet-Proof Modesty Panel
    #5 - Death by Collara
    #6 - "Can we get dressed now?"

  17. 2. Joan and Jackie Collins, the early years

  18. 1. I got fleeced at Joann's.
    2. The Stepford Daughters.
    3. Sweet Dreams are made of this!?!????!!!!!!?
    4. Binary Shift.
    5. Prepster 101.
    6. Soapbubbles Anonymous: Getting Clean.

  19. 1. Lester the Fleece Jester from Chester
    2. Suzie Quarterback Doll
    3. Christening Gown for Consumption Babies
    4. The Lady Flasher (You won't believe what she has on under this ugly dress!)
    5. IN-collar-able Accessories
    6. His and Hers Tiny Towels For Sexy Fun Times

  20. #1-Shirley, you jest! Ya Got The Mumps
    #2-Make Mine a Double
    #3-I Vant To Be Alone (okay, that's Greta Garbo, but Bette Davis as the Virgin Queen came to mind as soon as I saw this)
    #4-I'm Having Power Surge! (I bought and still have this pattern. The memories)
    #5-I've Collared the Prep
    #6-The Ahhhhh Spa.

  21. 1. Ministry of Silly Hats Collection
    2. The Shining, 1890's Version
    3. Dead Shroud for Cutie
    4. Boxy as a frig and twice as cuddly!
    5. Accessories from Remington Steele
    6.Nothing says Sexy like a terry cloth pareo!

  22. 1. "One moment on your head, forever socially dead".
    2. "Today we meet at the support group"
    3. "Cool patterns for cold babies"
    another 3. " baby icing"
    4. "Home sewn cupboard"
    5. "collar me beautiful"
    6. "EEEKs Darling! there are hairs in the drainpipe!"

  23. This comment has been removed by the author.

    1. 1. Party In A Pattern: The Chemo Collection
      2. Little Celebrities Jon Benet Dinner Dress (w/ bib)
      3. Madame Tussauds Hollywood: Salute to Mia Farrow -- Perfect for CPR Classes!
      4. Lane Bryant Shower Curtain Dress: Take your shower, then put it on!
      5. 'Cheers' meets 'Sybil': Accessories for Distinct Personalities
      6. Piping and Plumbing

      Sorry for delete -- typos.

  24. 1) Hats off! Please.....
    2) The Shining, Cosplay Edition
    3) Baby WTF
    4) Quick Sew Sack Dress
    5) Brooke Shields executive dress-up set
    6) All Wrapped Up

  25. 1. PETM hates these hats (People for the Ethical Treatment of Muppets)
    2. Don't shoulder pads come in children's sizes?
    3. Baby No-Longer-Alive by Mattel
    4. USPS Personal Flat-rate Mailer
    5. Dress-your-Dummy by Ventrilo-Chic
    6. Honey, what happened to the bathmats?

  26. 1. "Look what I made you for Christmas!"
    2. For your little linebackers!
    3. Yes, this baby has no hands.
    4. The Full Body Condom.
    5.At least we didn't include a bolo tie.
    6. As Seen in SkyMall Magazine!

  27. 1. "My First Acid Trip"
    2. "The Shining" cosplay edition
    3. Wes Craven's "Lullaby"
    4. When the hourglass turns into a shotglass
    5. Preppy Handbook - the pattern
    6. Plato's Retreat

  28. Well its 6am and my husband says "oh, sewers, they're such jokers!!" I am so LOLing, shhh, quietly!

  29. 1. Hattie Please
    2. You too can make two!
    3. Dead or Alive! Functional Patterns for any Doll
    4. Bea Author's Boutique
    5. Accessories for the Judge in you!
    6. Wrap it up, I'm late.

  30. 1) Holy hat hell, Batman.
    2) I am Hans and she is Framz and we are here to pump you up!
    3) The new My Baby Scares Me pattern line.
    4) I wish I were an Oscar Meyer wiener...
    5) Perky Collar Party
    6) "I'll show you mine..."

  31. A six-month supply of sewing machine oil? So.... a mostly empty bottle?

  32. 1. Ear warmer/lice incubator
    2. "Save the Children"
    3. Funeral dignity for dolls
    4. "Yes, I'm straight!"
    5. Seven ways to spot a nerd
    6. Honeymoon handy helpers

  33. 1. Celibacy Hats for the Whole Family...FAST!
    2. For the young & feminine football player
    3. 2 words: Coma Baby
    4. For the fashion forward Prison Matron
    5. For the Preppy Celibate and wannabe carnival barkers
    6. Rectangles and You

  34. Pattern 6 - I have a similar one that I picked up from a thrift store just because it made me laugh! Wow, there are (at least) two out there...

  35. This comment has been removed by the author.

    1. There are many good names for these patterns suggested by your readers. The patterns reminded me of all of the reasons I don't sew for other people.
      1. "We need thirty of these for the church bazaar"
      2. "You can just scale this up for my six bridesmaids."
      3. "Yes, the christening is in two weeks and the baby is six months old and 18 pounds."
      4. "Do you think this will make me look thinner?"
      5. "Could you lead a beginners sewing class for our Girl Scout troop? They want to make the purses."
      6. "Can you monogram these too? Just like in the picture."

    2. Love your responses-perfect for those who want to YOU to spend YOUR time on THEM.

  36. 1. Booby hats
    2. Feminism and football
    3. Bride of Chuckie
    4. You too can dress like Miss Ellie
    5. Accessorize your life away
    6. Real men wear skirts

    Everyone's are soooo funny! Lol

  37. 1) The, "No, I Really Do Love It. Of course I'll Wear It, Grandmother," Hat Collection
    2) Coupon for Children's Home Permanent Kit Inside Envelope!
    3) The Just Because Prince George Pulled It Off Doesn't Mean Your Baby Can Christening Gown
    4) The Look Back in 10 Years And Wonder, "What The Hell Was I Thinking?" Work Shift
    5) Chastity Belts & Accessories! Fast and Easy!
    6) Sew Your Way to a Steamy Romance

  38. 1] Hatastrophic
    2]Frilled to bits
    3] What’s green and sits in the corner? A dead baby!
    4]The ironing board dress
    5]Put the ‘cess’ in accessory!
    6]Adult nappies and matching sanitary wear

  39. 1. Boys from the hood
    2. Stepford babies
    3. Mortiary babies
    4. 80s in a box
    5. Ex cessaries (who needs these)
    6. Steam a seam


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