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Nov 9, 2012


Readers, I'm thrilled to present another round of the sewing blogosphere's favorite game of nifty nomenclature, NAME THAT PATTERN!

As you know from past rounds, the rules are simple: I present patterns I've found online and ask you to give them names -- the wittier the better.  Could it be any simpler?  I participate and sometimes Michael chimes in too.

While I can't be there to time you, I ask that you not spend more than an hour on any single pattern.  It's the honor system, people.

Ready to play?  Great.

Here's sophisticated PATTERN #1.

My answer: "Napkin rings optional"

I hope you haven't just eaten, because you're in for some turbulence: it's PATTERN #2!

My answer: "Overall, atrocious"

If there are any young children present, you'll want to move them away from your computer screen immediately.  Presenting PATTERN #3!

My answer: "Baby Jane's back -- and she's got a perm!"

Friends, you ain't seen nothin' yet: courtesy of Burda, here's PATTERN #4.

My answer: "Tiptoe through my tulip!"

Finally, something for the boys -- elegant PATTERN #5!

My answer: "Blind Date with Brian Boitano"

For anyone who's up for a little extra credit, I always like to offer a BONUS pattern.

And here it is -- PATTERN #6!

My answer: "Pigged out and feeling stuffed"

Readers, I hope you enjoy playing this latest round of NAME THAT PATTERN.  As always, our winner will be picked by Michael, and I'm delighted to announce that the winner will receive two weeks in the Cayman Islands with Ann and Mitt Romney!!!

So sit down, grab your pencils, start your timers, and please, no copying.



  1. Pattern #2: Foolishness I would have worn in my awkward hippie/punk rocker/alternative girl phase. Soundtrack: Suzanne Vega, The Cure, The Smiths, INXS and The Misfits. However, I am drawn to the SEVEN pockets, as I am an unabashed pocket whore.

  2. #1 Grab your tassel and open the drapes
    #2 Goulash
    #3 Chucky's sister
    #4 For whom the bell tolls
    #5 Ski formal
    #6 Diet buddy

    1. Well, I just sat down and jotted down a few answers on paper and had a little coffee and thought I would see what some of the titles were. I'm not even going to post mine. You are a true artist-Ski formal!!!

  3. Replies
    1. I was thinking to myself, "What's the name of that flush-away toilet cleaning thing I've got in the bathroom upstairs?" Too tired to go see. But I suppose you were thinking of the same gadget...

  4. 1. Car Wash Revisited
    2. Over my Underthings
    3. Hidee, Shirley Temple!
    4. BIGonia
    5. Dead Men Don't Wear Jumpsuits!
    6. Pig Out

  5. 1. Does this come with a dustpan?
    2. I'm so hot, I have hot pads on my tush.
    3. Crazy Eyes
    4. Maternity gown for aliens
    5. Hey, aren't you my trash collector?
    6 Unisex Pigwear

  6. 1. Thatch Roof Formalwear
    2. Sexy Like a Cabbage Patch Doll
    3. Come Here, My Pretty...
    4. All Bells, No Whistles
    5. UPS-wear
    6. Miss Piggy's Humble Roots

  7. Oh my !! Can I sleep on it? I'm feeling a little nauseated. That doll may give me nightmares !

  8. I actually bought pattern #2, on PURPOSE (and the kids version for my daughter) I was going thru a Bohemian phase, I'm over it now. I would call #2 , "OH no you didn't"

  9. Hehe at all the patterns, however, back to business, #1 Toilet Doll Makeovers, #2 I've Lost My Caravan, #3 White Witch of The West, #4 I Do Not Light Up If You Pull My Legs!!, #5 70's Jumpsuit #6 Babe's In Toyland (for all you dedicated readers of Dick King Smith's story!) ~Pem

  10. 1"A frilling adventure" (but not in couture)
    2 In Oz there is a brand of work wear called Yakka. They presumably took their name from a corruption of an aboriginal word that came to mean ‘hard work’ in C19th Australian English. So "yakkaty yak" for these?
    3 "Mucky chucky"?
    4(view B) "Aagh! It’s midnight and I’ve turned into a pumpkin"!
    5 "Another day’s yakka"

  11. 1. Tassels of the Titans
    2. BoHoNoNo
    3. Nightmare on Lace Street
    4. Bubbles and Squeak
    5. Bad InVestment
    6. Miss Piggy at the Bolshoi

  12. That doll pattern was so scary it has driven all witticisms out of my head due to terror

  13. the first one makes me think of Xmas trees.

  14. 1. Night of 1000 Layers (in Drag Sizes - work that flat chest, bitch!)
    2. Granny Made Play Clothes - comes with recipe for rice crispy treats with m&m's
    3. Bratz Dolls Punishment Outfit - see companion pattern "Barbie Dominatrix"
    4. Eighties Reenactment Wear - Joan Collins "Cocktails Anyone?"
    5. Tony Orlando And/Or Dawn
    6. Victoria Jackson Workout Wear - "I'ma Cryin' for Romney/Ryan" button inside!

    That slanted waistline on the Joan Collins dress is just killing me - as if that and the bow will somehow balance the thunder-thighs bubble! The designer must have been in one of those "too-tipsy-to-sew-straight,much-less-think-straight" moments.

  15. 1. Cornhusk Couture
    2. Bohemian Tragedy
    3. Rosemary's Second Baby
    4. Dingle berry
    5. Disco Sinferno
    6. Swine Lake

  16. 1. Fandago Fiesta
    2. Hoboken Joe
    3.Mac & cheese with lace
    4.Botero ball gown
    6.Porkster on point

  17. I, for some unknown reason, want to make the pig pattern....

  18. 1. I always wanted to be a tassel for Halloween
    2. 1990's Alternative Country
    3. Bride of Chucky
    4. Denise Huxtable's prom dress
    5. day to evening wear by Mr. Good wrench
    6. Pigs in Space meet Olivia Newton John

  19. 1. Bottle in a Genie
    2. Eight is Enough Colors
    3. Pattern of the Corn
    4. Mrs. Potts Does Dallas
    5. Magnum P-U
    6. Barbecue at the Ballet

  20. 1. Tulle much? Never!
    2. 7 wild pockets for 7 bottles of whiskey
    3. Doilies for dollies
    4. Lampshades! Not just for heads!
    5. Renovate your home in style!
    6. Bodacious bacon

  21. 1. Feather Duster
    2. Scrappy Dappy
    3. I'm writing a letter to Daddy!
    4. Does this make me look vintage (like a bottle of wine)?
    5. You can tell by the way I walk that I can't pick out my own clothes.
    6. How to dress your Bacon.

  22. 1. Escape the Drape Shape
    2: Hitching a Ride to Colorado (inhale, pass around)
    3. Whoa Nellie!
    4. Does This Make My Butt Look Fat?
    5. Hirsute Jumpsuit Tribute
    6. Entree Ballet

  23. 1) The Lampshade
    2) The Travesty (truly, this one leaves me speechless)
    6) Sweatin to the Oldies with Miss Piggy

  24. #1 Amish wheat sheaf queen

    #2 Garage Mechanics gone wild

    #3Mirthless Merry

    #6 Pigs in Ur Face

  25. Men's pattern #5. I had a male 5th grade teacher who had the jumpsuit in large yellow and black plaid! He had platform shoes. Can you believe a teacher at a rural school wore that in 1974?!Kelly

  26. Pavelka Gives Czechs A Bad Name.

    That's all I can think of upon seeing that name on the pattern! Pavelka's a Czech surname (though I have no idea, maybe it comes from other languages, too.) So sewpdx, perhaps unwittingly, hit the nail on the head with Bohemian Tragedy!

  27. 1&4 - HR Puff and Stuff

  28. Ummm, I actually LOVE #1 and if it's in your possession I'll happily take it off your hands. In the right fabrics that could be awesome.


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