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Feb 18, 2016

NAME THAT PATTERN - Belated Valentine's Day Edition!

Readers, what happened?

How could I have missed Valentine's Day this year?  I hope you'll forgive me and still celebrate with me -- albeit a bit late -- by playing a round of the sewing blogosphere's favorite pattern-naming game, MPB's exclusive NAME THAT PATTERN!

By now you all know the rules: I post photos of patterns I find online, and you give them names, the funnier the better.  Naturally humor is highly subjective -- and thank God for that!

I'm afraid that the only prize I have available is a discounted Valentine's Day Whitman's candy sampler from the clearance bins at my local Rite Aide, but I do believe the candy is still fresh enough to eat.  Again, apologies.

With no further delay, let's get started!

Presenting PATTERN #1:

At a loss already?  I hope not.  Here's PATTERN #2:

But wait -- we've only just begun.  A round of applause for PATTERN #3!

Can't be topped?  How about PATTERN #4?!

And our big finale, PATTERN #5!

As always, players, we have our BONUS PATTERN for those who simply can't get enough.  Presenting PATTERN #6!

Friends, thank you so much for playing this very special belated Valentine's Day edition of NAME THAT PATTERN.  As always, you can name as many patterns as you wish, but only those naming ALL the above patterns will be eligible for our deluxe Whitman's Valentine's Day Sampler.  I'll be playing, naturally, as well as any other family members I can track down.

Get ready, get set, Name that pattern!



  1. 1. Perfect when you want to stop off on the way to your luncheon to get a tattoo.
    2. There's more room in my pockets than in my shopping cart.
    3. So the two of you can go as twin beds next Halloween
    4. When we think about you we touch ourselves
    5. In this apron, you'll create quite a stir
    6. "Randall, I could swear Gregory got implants while he was on vacation."

  2. 1. The Pink Ladies in Cardin
    2. Simplicity is releasing a pattern just like this in their spring line. I'm not kidding.
    3. Skiing in Chernobyl
    4. Magnum P.I. callbacks
    5. Unforkable
    6. Biff's biking to Jazz class? So butch.

    1. These are awesome. Thanks for the laugh!

  3. I don't have any pattern names, but the illustration of the high waisted, purple lame stirrup pants made my day. Thanks for sharing that gem!

  4. 1. Hole-y super-easy!
    2.(invisible)Pants (hung on the line) Not Included
    3. Oven Mitt Man
    4: I can't let this go without this John Weitz obituary quote:''He did very well at putting his name on things,'' Mr. Fairchild said. ''He became sort of a household name.''
    5. This is what we call a TABLE spoon
    6. "Mmm, a silver fox in black!"

  5. 1. The Spank! Dress: Super-Easy and Fun
    2. Waist Not
    3. Breaking Bad: Quilter's Edition
    4. Got Legs?
    5. Let's Spoon!
    6. Spandexual

  6. 5. every spoonful of dessert goes straight to my hips.

  7. 1. "Take another piece of my dress now, baby"
    2. Shopping, laundry, vacuuming, and I still find time to smell the roses!
    3. Judy pressed the button, and Don's jumpsuit inflated with chlorine gas -- a certain death.
    4. The John Weitz male hustler collection.
    5. Does this spoon make me look fat?
    6. "Looks like somebody's still struggling with VPL."

    1. Love #5. I may not even try!

  8. Make touching yourself super easy!
    Yes, Harriet, a huge skirt will make your waist look tiny.
    Men's snow immobile suit.
    Pockets are essential when you want to look suave.
    Stir me!
    Kwik sew hot!

  9. Magnum's day off.
    I don't fancy men in tights!

  10. McCalls just released a pattern similar to #2 as well. (M7354--a mother/daughter pattern!) I don't do that #pinup Donna Reed retro at this age, but the look is popular.

  11. 1. Holey Dress Batman!

    3. What to wear when battling Mr Freeze.
    4. The 70s Gigolo Summer Ensemble
    5. Wanna Spoon Me?
    6. My Camel toe is in the Back

  12. 1 Avante-garde hospital & surgical gowns
    2 Crinolined workwear for the perfect housewife
    3 I don't want to get flagged by the NSA
    4 Pina colada separates
    5 To state the obvious
    6 Solid gold

  13. 1. I...I can't quite reach the armhole. Dammit, now it's in back!
    2. I dreamed I went shopping in my Maidenform....apron!
    3. It's bathtime for the cats.
    4. Mad Men...the beach spinoff
    5. I have an old Marimekko print like this.
    6. Oh, I can't...just can't!

  14. 1. Wiggle Dresses Gone Wrong
    2. My Armpits Smell Like Roses, But Yours Smell Like ...
    3. Winter Ninja!
    4. Hey, Babe, Take a Walk on the Wild Side
    5. ... And the Dish Ran Away with the Spoon
    6. He Thinks Black Will Make Him Look Thinner. What a Jerk.

  15. 1. Chiropractor patient gowns.
    2. Wide Arse Club
    3. Feel The Bern Suits.
    4. Tom's Selling It.
    5. Dishing it Out.
    6. Slip And Shine.

  16. 1)For that chic moth-eaten look.
    2)Who needs clothes when you've got an apron?
    3)Dear, have you seen my oven mitts?
    4)How you doing?
    5)Wanna bite?
    6)Not just for Baryshnikov.

  17. 1. Hi, my name is Burda and, as you'll have already guessed, I'm super-easy!
    2. The crinoline shirt - why be held back by the concept of centuries?
    3. We've checked everything and it's safe to come out (preferably not wearing this)
    4. Can't be topped? Oh, yes he can!!!
    5. Can't afford a shoulder bag? Patchwork Solutions has the answer so that noone every knows!
    6. "Now that's what I call a neat French seam!!"

  18. 1."Cuttin' up's not hard to do" OR "Ooh could you just scratch right there."
    2.One for the cart, one for the left pocket, one for the right pocket...
    3.Take us to your sno-leader.
    4.Suggested pattern construction, man not included.
    5.Make your very own personal, in-home product billboard.
    6."Don't worry, he looks the same as the rest of us in Sew-Knit-'N-Stretch #321."

  19. #1 Dresses for Scoliosis sufferers


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