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May 3, 2015


Friends, if you're an old movie buff like I am, you're probably a fan of Mary Astor.

Mary was best known as more of a supporting player than a lead, but if you've ever seen The Maltese Falcon, Midnight, The Great Lie (for which she won an Oscar) or The Palm Beach Story, you've seen Mary Astor at her best.  What better way to celebrate Mary's hundred-and-ninth birthday than with a very special round of the Internet's favorite pattern-naming game, NAME THAT PATTERN!

The rules of the game are simple: I post photos of patterns I've found online, and you give them names.  We have some fantastic prizes in store, including a false eyelash reputed to have belonged to Mary Astor herself!

With no further delay, let's play NAME THAT PATTERN!

Here's Pattern #1:

Can't be topped?  Take a look at Pattern #2!

From the absurd to the ridiculous -- here's Pattern #3!

No introduction necessary: Pattern #4!

Last but not least, it's Pattern #5

But wait!  As always, we have our bonus pattern for those who simply can't get enough.  Behold Pattern #6!

Friends and Mary Astor fans, I've hoped you've enjoyed playing this round of NAME THAT PATTERN.  As you know, you can name all the patterns above, or simply the ones that inspire you.  (Naturally, if you want to win the eyelash, you'll have to name them all.)  We'll all be playing here at our house -- maybe even my Mom too!

On your marks, get set, NAME THAT PATTERN!


  1. 1. Cowboys, Hippies & Cult Members-We've Got A Vest For You
    2. Stormin' Mormon Gal
    3. Prostitots and Moms-Fun Across The Generations
    4. Career, Holiday And Cultural Appropriation
    5. Brain Surgery Couture
    6. I See You Baby-Stretchin' Dat Azz

    1. Thanks and I love your name.

    2. Hilarious!

    3. #6 is the best laugh I’ve had all day!

  2. 1. The Partridge Family joins a cult
    2. Mrs. Partridge's cult daywear--no plaid doubleknits allowed!
    3. What Marie Osmond and Janet Jackson wore in a special concert to welcome new cult members.
    4. What the cult leader, "Bobby," wore at various times during his 4-hour address.
    5. Orb used by members to block Saturnian mind control, (and mask bad hair).
    6. What the cult leader wore later with Danny other people reaching the highest "Orwellian Plain."

    1. Thematically, I give JSS the win!

  3. 1. Grow your own Sonny & Cher kit
    2. Amish prom dress
    3. Stop! In the name of Love. (Or just stop.)
    4. DentIST, artIST, racIST
    5. The bride of Frankenstein goes to the art museum

  4. Mary Astor played Lizabeth Scott's mother in Desert Fury, and she stole every scene she was in (tough talkin', pants wearin', casino ownin' mother, dealing with her younger former paramour's interest in her daughter).

    This group of patterns collectively assault the psyche.

  5. UH-oh. I (still) love #5.

    1. Me too! And I like #2. I'm clearly not the best person to be playing this game!

  6. #1 - The Von Trapp Family Sings the Beatles!
    #2 - Sew Your Own Shroud
    #3 - "My Three Sons: A New Beginning"
    #4 - "And how long have you been seeing these little men, Santa?"
    #5 - Chia Top Model!
    #6 - Marcia initiates Jan into the joys of latex foundation garments

    1. #2. I was thinking chastity belt coverup.

  7. 1. Partidge Family-wear

    2. Maxi-Monk

    3. Barbies in Vegas (Skipper too)

    4. Pre-Abercrombie racially offensive costumes + odd Santa & evil melodrama guy

    5. Marshmallow-y fashion (Cute dress, actually)

    6. Not-so-prehistoric spanx

  8. 1. partridge pairs
    2. Mother of the bride
    3. Mermaid Molls
    4. Far East to North Pole
    5. Tres Chic 60's chicks
    6. How to fashionably fit into your favorite clothes...

  9. 1. Children of the corn-a-go-go
    2. Dull and Duller
    3.Making a Spector-cle of yourself
    4. Satan is an anagram of Satan y'know
    5. A tooth-some delight
    6. For chubby mermaids everywhere

  10. 1. Is that the Partridge Family, The Brady Bunch or Donny & Marie & clones?
    2. The height of fashion in surgery-wear
    3. Lessons in how to embarrass your daughter -and your mother too!
    4. I never noticed all those outfits were the same til now.
    5.the perfect hat for the shorter woman who wants to fit in
    6. This looks like it was drawn by Mike Grell (and how many of your readers will know what I'm talking about?)

  11. !. Mom Sallys wearin my vest
    2. Don't just walk down the runway WEAR IT!
    3. Barbie and friends sing, YOU MADE ME SEW THIS.
    5. Pssst, she's got it on backwards. If she was serious she wouldn't be wearing that hat.
    6. Keep you trunk packed, ALL NITE, LOL
    ***look out for woman in slacks and sholder pads. They mean business and know how to look good while delivering a well deserved smack.

  12. 1. Shrek Meets Ellen DeGeneres.
    2. Choir Robe Onsie.
    3. Wear Tutu On Knees Extraveganza (With Bonus Bimbo Hair Tutorial)
    4. Santa Was Kung Fu Fighting.
    5. Smoore Galore.
    6. The Expandables…Eat More and Sew Less!

  13. 1. Vests for Pests
    2. Nun with a Bun dress
    3. Hermes Mermaid dress
    4. Halloween for all Seasons
    5. Marshmallow Dream dress
    6. Hurdle Girdle (not to be confused with the Donovan song "The Hurdy Gurdy Man", although Hurdy Gurdy's associated the Roly Poly man might look into this pattern.)

  14. In-vest in your kids
    Polygamist's starter kit
    Your daughters can be cheap night club singers too.
    You'll need a doctor after wearing the Chinese man costume
    What to pair with your Q-Tip hat
    Fat tamer

  15. 4. Moriarty's Disguise Starter Kit
    2. Dress like a Microphone.

  16. 1. Donnie & Marie Ride Again
    2. Dare to Bare – Ankles!
    3. What Do You Mean, Barbie’s Not A Real Girl?
    4. Creepy Ghost Orderly Rounds Up Patients at the Asylum
    5. Now, What Did I Do with That Flower Pot?
    6. Rear View Mirror Rear - with Crotch Piece!

    That video clip is actually the conversation my Good and Bad selves have been having every day since right after New Year’s.

  17. Children of the Cilt
    Adultimate of the Cult
    Before Buffy, Sarah M. Gellar was Barbie
    Mad Evil Doctor in his,look a like robot factory
    the Cult, updated version
    More impossible figures than Eron bookkeeping

  18. #1 ~ I asked mom for a mod vest, not Maude vest.
    #2 ~ Just hangin' around.
    #3 ~ Girl can't help it.
    #4 ~ Santa is pleased with the new elf suit designs.


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