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Jun 9, 2010

Are you a S.W.O.B?



Good morning, cigar-chomping cross-dressers and others!

As you can see I am officially obsessed with this boy-meets-girl/Whoops-boy-IS-girl wardrobe thing.  Call it a kink.   And look:




Vogue 9128, my little Quasimodo Eighties jumper pattern is well underway!

Yesterday I picked up this lovely $2/yd. cotton shirting that has a little metallic silver stripe:



...and for the jumper, this bold glen plaid:



And of course, I couldn't resist buying a pair of these -- the biggest I could find!



Here they are in place:



Woo hoo, we're going back to 1985!  

I'm a little embarrassed to admit that this wretched-refuse-of-a-pattern is starting to grow on me.  I feel for its horrible misfortune.

By the way, I was a little disappointed that yesterday's post left more than a few readers shaking their heads, wondering if I'd gone off the deep end.  I keep forgetting that we're still in the holding-hands-at-the-malt-shop stage of our relationship.  We don't really know each other very well even if we are practically finishing each other's sentences sometimes.  Satire is the post-coital cigarette -- it can happen too early.

Which brings up a little something else I've been hesitant to mention.  I've noticed -- and I'm sure you have too -- a certain kind of blog commenter who is -- how can I say this politely -- a little superior.

These commenters all share something you may not be aware of, which is why I've labeled them SWOBs.  SWOBs are Sewists Without Blogs.  Elitist to their very core, they think just because they don't have a blog they're better than the rest of us! 

Clever cum laude types, they've aptly pegged us bloggers as the kids who had to settle for the second lead in their Senior class musical and swore they'd put on a show of their own where they'd be the star and never have to audition again!  Blogging fits us these attention-starved wannabes to a tee.  And the SWOBs know it!

To snobby old SWOBs, bloggers are just one step above seltzer-down-your-pants circus clowns and flopsweat-streaked vaudevillians.  They, in contrast, are hoity-toity Patrons of the Arts who for their amusement go slumming on the sewing blogs.  They sneer at our desperate attempts to dump our old patterns on gullible readers through the GIVEAWAY ruse, or to create faux democracy through our tedious, pleading POLLS. 

You can spot a SWOB by their comments. SWOBs traffic in sly sarcasm and emotional manipulation.  "Well, of course I don't have a blog..."  or "As a non-blogger I'm no authority..." or "Excuse me if I don't blog..."

Bloggers, please, don't let SWOB snobbery get you down.  It's true, they're less needy and less neurotic, but is anybody sending them free fabric remnants?

Let them revel in their current non-blog-itude, I say!  It's only a matter of time.

And so, my non-SWOB friends and SWOB frenemies, it's time to get back to my little monster, Vogue 9128.  She needs sleeves and a jumper.

Happy Sewing, everyone, and as for you SWOBs, I invite you to leave your SWOB-iest comment yet.  I can take it!

Bloggers, I ask you: Have you experienced the SWOB phenomenon?

How do you handle it?

45 comments:

  1. I am so sorry that people are unable to recognize your sartorial wit! LOL! Thoroughly enjoyed yesterday's post. Couldn't agree with you more on those testy SWOBs : )

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  2. Hmmm... am I a SWOB? I do have a blog, but it's more like a photo album (I should move to Picasa or Flickr), plus I post once in few months. Well, I am definitely not an authority ;).

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  3. AnaJan, I hate to break it to you, but currently you are not a SWOB.

    But be careful, you could slip back into SWOB-dom! ;)

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  4. Alas, I am a "SWOB", but really, only due to the fact that I don't have enough hours in the day to do a blog justice (read "fear"!). I started one on my fiberarts site (if you're really inteterested in my sad attempt at blogging, you can see it here- http://fiberartsmixedmedia.ning.com/profile/KimAndert). I love to write, but the fear of "who in the world is really going to be interested in the musings of a Midwestern gal with a passion for sewing, glamour and saving the world" holds me back. I have been sewing forever, and definitley have opinions, but I get a lot of joy out of the sewing blogs I read. The enthusiasm for sewing, and the process of learning that everyone is sharing makes me happy. Yours is the ONLY blog I read/check on daily! It is just too intimidating to think about trying to compete with you Peter-I don't have a parrot, or a blonde wig (yet!)So, I beg you, please don't think badly of my "SWOB" status...not all of us who sew are as multi-talented as you are!

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  5. Vintagegal, I'm sorry, you have a blog. (OK, so it's not officially a SEWING blog; close enough.)

    You, my dear, are a SWOB poseur!

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  6. Dearest Peter, I am a SWOP, but I can assure you that it is not because I feel superior in any way. In fact it is precisely the opposite. Compared to you (and many others) my sewing and writing skills are pathetic, and no one would read my blogs except those that I am either married to, or those that I have some DNA in common with.

    Reading your blog is one of the highlights of my day! Thank you so much.

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  7. Well Peter, I do have a blog but I've been a miserable failure with it. It only contains my original post because I couldn't figure out how to post a picture without making the text go all funky... after several attempts I said "oh f*$% it" and never tried again.

    So, I'm not sure what to feel bad about, the fact that I couldn't master a blog or the fact that I don't have a blog even though I really do.

    p.s. I've always wanted to do the white shirt and tie thing but was never brave enough to try it. I guess you could say my cross-dressing desires are still in the closet.

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  8. Elle, I think you mean SWOB.

    A SWOP is a Sewist Without Pants.

    Thanks for the kind comments (though do you see, readers, how Elle subtly manipulates through faux-inferiority? -- the mark of a true SWOB!).

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  9. Mom2five, miserable failure though you may be, you are not a SWOB.

    Next! ;)

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  10. see, I can`t type or spell either!

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  11. It is early morning for me here on the west coast and I didn`t finish reading Peter`s comment before responding. It really isn`t faux inferiority, I am a boring writer. And right now I truly am a SWOP and a SWOSAS (sewist without shoes and socks).

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  12. No blog but not a SWOB. I have no idea how to start, set up, maintain or fill up a blog.

    No freaking clue. I LOVE each and everyone of the sewing blogs and am very thankful for their existence. Not a SWOB, I promise. Just technology challenged.
    Mermie

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  13. One of the SWOBs should start a "sewing without satire" blog.

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  14. Well, I guess I should keep with my poor French and make it "Sewing Sans Satire." You're all set.

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  15. There are sewists without blogs?! I had no idea! These people must be very well-adjusted.

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  16. I'm just not a witty writer or photographer or... But I do so enjoy reading all the lovely, talented sewing blogs. I'm forever grateful to all them for teaching me so much. While my sewing skills are still in the beginning stages, I feel they have been improved so much by all you wonderful bloggists.

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  17. I confess. I am a SWOB. I love blogs. I love reading blogs. I love sewing. Most of all I love reading blogs about sewing. I am not much of a writer. I have thought about a photo only sewing blog. Maybe just photograph all my sewing mistakes with appropriate swear words. Like the dress I am currently working on with the zipper that pokes out at the back like I have a tail. Or the front stripe that I purposefully cut off center with respect to the bodice and skirt, but not enough to make it look like I did. I would never be as dutiful about posting as you, Peter. Sadly, I am not worthy of a blog.

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  18. "Satire is the post coital cigarette" . . . this is brilliant, I must remember it and use it somewhere/somehow. How DO you come up with this stuff??!!

    And yes, I am a SWOB, but I am in AWE of those talented sewists who also find the time to crank out regular messages on their blogs! The blogs I've followed over the last year have helped me improve my skills and knowledge tremendously I don't see myself EVER doing a blog, as I'm way too lazy and stupid to commit to such a project. And I don't think I have enough interesting things to say on a blog that would merit anyone's attention!

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  19. Ack, I see there is another Elle and she is a SWOB. Not me. As in, she isn't me, and I do have a blog. Hmmm, I think I'm still in a fog from wedding activities, and now that it's over, I'll get back to real life, and maybe some sewing. This apparently isn't OT though. Oops.

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  20. Oh, I'll answer the question now... I haven't experience the SWOB phenomenon yet, but I'm more of the "I only have 3 readers" kind of blogger. :)

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  21. My Name is Nikole and I'm a SWOB. I had all intentions of starting one but alas real life has taken over and I never got past 5 posts so I deleted it, i don't think i'm superior though

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  22. Honestly, when I saw the title I thought this was going to be a posting about "Sewists With Out Breasts".

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  23. Did I mention false modesty? SWOB-alert! SWOB-alert!

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  24. Peter, you are an absolute gem!! I adore your blog! :)

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  25. I admit it, I'm a SWOB and damned proud of it. I'm frankly here to steal your best ideas and sell them to the Chinese rag trade on my block in Paris. Oh yes, I had to get that Paris thing in, didn't I. Such a SWOB, but without the false modesty. It may look like I have a blog, but if you click through you will see that it lives up to its name.

    A+
    Karen

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  26. I have a blog from before the term existed! I have a livejournal. While mine is all about whatever is going through my head and life at any given moment, my sewing projects do actually feature on it. I've considered getting an 'official' blog, but I'm too lazy to learn a different system, and all my friends know where my live journal is....

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  27. I don't have SWOBs on my blog as it's new and only about 3 people including my mom and 2 sisters read it.
    But I'll take any advice I can to get better at sewing. Not everybody wants to blog, heck I waited more than 5 years to open one up. I thought I couldn't contribute. I'm not sure I am, but I'll try.
    There is always the option for you to moderate
    ps between @laparesseuse and I, procrastinator par excellence, your French readers don't seem to be doing much else then drink coffee on sunny terrasses looking effortlessly élégantes reading and commenting your blog!

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  28. Y'know, it would be a pretty small universe of readers if all of them were bloggers.

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  29. OK, Carmencita outed me. I thought my SWOB bluster would hide the sad truth that, alas, I am a virtual sewist. One with a decent stash, mind you. But if I were to blog my sewing, there would be no words or pictures (or only nekkid ones). Rather like my existing blog. Not being a blogger, I'm not sure how well that would go over. See, it turns out I do have that SWOB false modesty thing going on! I suppose I could do a daily photo on my terrasse drinking coffee (this being Paris, sun would not be a daily occurrence) and reading your blog. As for the effortlessly élégante part, that would require too much effort on my part, and I remain,
    la paresseuse

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  30. Hmm, I have a blog and recently started talking about sewing, but haven't run across the SWOB yet. (Only someone who suggested I might benefit from a psychiatrist after seeing a video demonstrating uses for pocket zippers - but she was kidding....wasn't she?). Are you getting snotty comments? I've only seen positive ones.

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  31. Another great read Peter, I only discovered you recently and enjoy every post. My blog is far too new for me to have encountered any SWOBs. Until very recently I used to be a SWOB but a nice one, perhaps a SWOB in awe?, enjoying a massive amount in bloggy inspiration from all over the world and I never thought I'd ever start a blog about anything, what would people want to know from me? Then I started getting more involved in the online sewing world and what do you know, I started a blog too and I really enjoy it even though I don't post every day :) There is hope for all the other SWOBs out there I am sure. I like to think they are just jealous of us but there is nothing wrong with being proud of your own work xx

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  32. Gotta say, I am a SWOB, and thank God for us! I subscribe to so many sewing Blogs, it's just as well there aren't any more of you or I'd never get away from my computer to do anything. And By the way, there is no modesty here, false or otherwise. We are just better than you bloggers.

    Emily

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  33. Or not. Whatever ;)

    Emily

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  34. I nearly snorted my tea out of my nose this morning while reading this! You crack me up!!! :D If only I could have 1/10th of your wit... ;)

    I agree with Gertie's astute comment: there are people who sew and don't blog?! Gee... I thought *everyone* did. haha! j/k

    ♥ Casey
    blog | elegantmusings.com

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  35. SWOB? No--I've been writing for too long and I love it too much to ever turn back. To all of you SWOB's out there, I'll quote the advice that Diana Rupp gives in S.E.W. Sew Everything Workshop that pushed ME over the edge 2 1/2 years ago:

    "Blog it like it's hot
    There's a reason everybody and their grandma has a blog. Go to blogger.com and put in the keyword sewing to see what all the fuss is about. I can spend hours and hours drooling over the amazing things people make. Why not join the fun? Create a simple page and post a few details about yourself and the projects you've made. I'd love to see what you can do, too!" from p. 6 S.E.W Sew Everything Workshop

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  36. A brilliant post as usual. I need to better trust my instincts about your sense of humor and be less cautious (your post on the selfish seamstress REALLY had me puzzled!)
    Oh, to be a SWOB...but I'm just as neurotic and attention-grubbing as everyone else.

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  37. Good Morning Peter,
    I just discovered your blog at pattern sewing machine review. I just got my 1940s Singer 15-91 going. My first project on it is a denim quilt. I spent two hours ripping jeans yesterday.

    I'm pretty sure I am not a swob! If I have any swobs on my blog they are too polite to admit it. So far all my visitors are delightful.

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  38. Don't worry, Tammy, they'll show up. Brace yourself! LOL

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  39. More SWOBs, we need more SWOBs! There are far too many good sewing blogs around now and I spend all my bed-reading-time catching up with the ones I already know and discovering even more new ones. Especially people like you Peter, who are blogging almost every day are the cause of my growing addiction. - Oh, and I never usually comment, and I won't start - one has to sleep, work, eat, maybe even occasionally go out. Where shall this end?

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  40. Well it looks like a lot of SWOBs here are just blog intimidated and/or time crunched.

    Over the years, on other blogs (and I try to follow way, way too many), I noticed the holier-than-thou SWOBber comments. Some that even bordered on troll fodder. I just ignore them. Neva evah feed a troll.

    That said where the heck is Belladonna? Now there is a SWOB who was nothing but helpful and knows her sewing stuff frontwards and backwards. She used to post on a quite a few sewing blogs awhile back. She would even post tutorials in comments.

    And now Complete Random Tangent:

    I just noticed my made up word, SWOBber, is real close to slobber. I know there's a joke in there somewhere.

    CRT 2.0:

    Hey Mr. Sewing Nemesis Pants, MORE DOGGY PICTURES PLEASE!

    ~lorrwill (Wordpress and Blogger are hating on each other right now.)

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  41. I'm a SWAUOB or SWABB (sewist with an un-opened blog / sewist with a blank blog) :D!

    I've set-up my template (well 99% done) and I am getting up the courage to break my blogging-virginity with my first post (eek!).

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  42. Kiss your SWOB-hood good-bye, Seemane!

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  43. Hilarious! I have a few SWOB commenters but mine are nice so far...maybe they're being nice because I'm still fairly new to the blog world?

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  44. I love your blog. I love your commentary (especially when you get on a gender topic.) I'm a *bad* blogger, inconsistent yet consistently guilty of awkward premature satire and generally opening up too soon only to have everyone not get it. Now I'm off to revel in the rest of your archive.

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