You know how seeing five birds sitting on a telephone pole is charming but five hundred suddenly feels like an Alfred Hitchock movie?
That's how I'm feeling this morning about mens patterns. Yesterday my package arrived with the twenty-nine vintage mens patterns I'd won on eBay on -- was it only last Thursday? They're all in great condition though they do smell like three decades' worth of Marlboros.
There's some good stuff in here for sure: shorts, shirts, vests, suits, gym clothes, sportcoats...
But -- and this may sound strange, or not -- nothing I haven't seen before, many, MANY times.
The sad truth is that mens patterns are -- dare I think it let alone say it? -- pretty dull.
I mean, where's the male equivalent of the Joan Collins "Dynasty" dress I just made? There ain't one. I doubt too many men would have collected the Dynasty John Forsythe collection. What did he even wear? A suit, dinner clothes, maybe a smoking jacket... Who even cares?
I also think there's something about getting a box of twenty-nine of anything that makes it hard to absorb in one sitting. I used to collect LPs (long-playing record albums -- music to you young'uns) and I remember coming home from the flea market with, say, twenty albums under my arm and never playing any of them; I didn't know where to begin.
BUT if I'd scored one album I was really excited about (Peggy Lee's "Sugar'n'Spice" comes to mind), I might listen to it for days.
Do you hear where I'm coming from, peeps?
I'm sure over time I'll learn to love some of these. And I already plan to ship a few to a short German guy I met through BurdaStyle (apparently there's a real dearth of mens patterns over there). And don't be surprised if my next giveaway is a pattern for double-knit polyester bell-bottoms.
There's a moral here, folks: Don't let your eyes be bigger than your stomach.
I think I've just experienced my first pattern binge. Belch.
P.S. -- THIS is the pattern I'm really excited about, which I picked up yesterday on Etsy:
I'm a native New Yorker and sewing fanatic! I started sewing in 2009 and today make all my own clothes using vintage sewing machines and vintage patterns, in addition to sewing for private clients. Welcome to the warm and whimsical world of Male Pattern Boldness, where the conversation is sewing, style, fashion, fabric, and more!