Mar 17, 2010
I know many of you are wondering whatever happened to Michael's makeover (the one he'd asked for).
My friends, it never quite happened.
I realized soon after starting and Michael had taken his own "before" shots (a red flag), that I couldn't do it. I sensed right off the bat that he wasn't really ready to give me carte blanche, and that it would feel like a battle of wills. He wanted to choose his colors; he wanted to comb through the aisles at the Salvation Army. I came to an important conclusion:
Do not tell your husband how to dress.
This also goes for wives, partners, parents, friends...
Nobody wants to be told what to wear by you -- not even the ones who say they do.
I learned something else, too:
If you are uncomfortable with the way someone else dresses, guess who has the problem? (Hint: it's not them.)
But what if -- you ask -- the person solicits your advice?
In that case, I recommend drawing up a contract with a crystal-clear stipulation that your husband/wife/partner, etc. understands that he/she may be subject to criticism (or what feels like criticism) but nonetheless agrees to accept this information without getting a) defensive, b) hostile, c) sulky.
But what if, despite being signatory to the above contract, this person STILL will not accept your -- completely solicited, mind you -- advice?
In that case, take the contract, tear it up, and have a good laugh.
Honestly, this is the only way to preserve a happy relationship. The vast majority of us do not want to be told how to dress, especially from someone we love. The very concept of love suggests that we are accepted as we are.
Dressing badly is not like smoking. It's not going to jeopardize anyone's health.
As a sewer, what you can do is to create things you think your husband/wife/partner, etc. will like and solicit their input if you want it. But once you give your creation to them, you have to let it go. They'll wear it or they won't. They have to be the ones making the choice. It's theirs now.
That's it: the best relationship advice you'll ever find on a sewing blog!
So what do you think, sage readers?
Do you ever give others advice on how to dress?
Have you had success? Are there particular strategies that work/don't work? (Do you have any friends? How about ex's?)
I'd love to hear about your experiences!