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Apr 16, 2016

NAME THAT PATTERN -- Now 100% Caffeine-Free!

Readers, over the years, many of you have reported experiencing sleep disturbances due to the excitement of playing MPB's exclusive pattern-naming game, NAME THAT PATTERN.

That's why I've come up with something new: a 100% caffeine-free game that still offers the same great taste and satisfaction as the old game.  Sound amazing?  It is!

You've all played NAME THAT PATTERN before, but just in case you haven't, the rules are simple: I post photos of patterns I've found online and you give them funny names.  As always we have some amazing prizes in store for our winners, including our grand prize, an entire year's supply of Dritz Fray Check!

With no further delay, let's get started.

Please put your hands together and give a big NAME THAT PATTERN welcome to Pattern #1!

Warmed up yet?  Hope so!  Here's Pattern #2!

But wait, there's more.  Something for the boys, it's Pattern #3!

Next, a true original, Pattern #4.

Finally, a Seventies classic, Pattern #5.

But wait -- there's MORE!  As always, we have our BONUS PATTERN for those who just can't get enough.  Say hello to Pattern #6!

Friends, I hope you've enjoyed playing this 100% Caffeine-free edition of NAME THAT PATTERN.  As always, I'll be playing, along with anyone else in my household I can coerce.  And remember: you can name as many patterns as you wish but only those naming ALL six patterns will be eligible to win our grand prize.

Ready to play?

Get on your marks, get set, NAME THAT PATTERN!


  1. 1. Bummed Out

    2. For women with wider necks than waists.

    3. Marsupial Envy

    4. Holly Hobbie’s Knickers

    5. Apronzilla

    6. Child Bride

  2. 1. How double-jointed cowgirls do the Timewarp
    2. Please note that the waist size is missing a decimal point after the 3
    3. My *nack* is too small for this collar
    4. Beachwear for Rumspringen when you're still undecided
    5. Magnum P.I.E.

  3. 1. Western Grundie
    2. Coming or Going?
    3. Trapper Keeper
    4. Little House on the Beach
    5. Pinafore Palooza
    6. Toilet Paper Doll Fashion

  4. 1. The Nutcracker
    2. Lucille Bell (Bottom)
    3. The David Byrne, Stop Making Sense Collection (Talking Heads)
    4. A Southern Baptist Bikini
    5. Unisex Bric-a-brac and Lederhosen
    6. The JonBenét Ramsey Set.

  5. 1. There! There is my Thigh Gap
    2. Lucy, you got some splaining to do. Is that the front/back or the back front?
    3.Octa panel eighties or My what big Pockets you Have.
    4.Playa Picnic play suit
    5.Special Mess: Holiday aprons
    6. OH Dolly; Dolly Trousseau

  6. 1. Ouch!
    2. I think my dress is on backwards.
    3 room for two
    4. Use the picnic table cloth to make a clever sunhat!
    5. Prairie Cookoff
    6. that doll has better clothes than I do

  7. 1. Sweet cheeks and prairie oysters
    2. Ba-ba-licensing!
    3. Time to get our pinheads reinflated
    4. Ms. Sister Wives Swimsuit Competition
    5. Nice apron, Bob, but you still can't join the Junior League
    6. Mother's little trophy wife (by the way, I saw an article about how Anna Wintour always wears the same Manolo Blahnik shoes and they look exactly like the ones the doll is wearing!)

    1. You may be happy to know that your name for #4 caused me some incontinence from laughing so hard!!!

  8. 1. Montana Triangle
    2. Lucille Ball Bottom Dress
    3. Hulk Hogan Camp Shirt
    4. Sunbonnet Sue Swimmers
    5. Hey Good Lookin, Whatcha Got Cookin
    6. Baby Brides

  9. 1 Roarhide
    2 Push Me Pull You
    3 Panel Man
    4 Checked Out
    5 Dandy No Handy
    6 Swoon Sleep Sweat Swim Suits

  10. I inherited the last pattern from my Mom. What an amazing coincidence!

  11. 1. Well, she sure ain't concealin' a gun in them pants!
    2. Lucy valiantly pretended that she had boobs on her back too.
    3. "We've got 30 minutes before the giants wake up and realise we nicked their shirts."
    4. What the well dressed Dementor is wearing on the beach these days.
    5."Well this is embarrassing, I thought I'd be the only one wearing this apron"
    6. Bride of Chuckie's Trousseau

  12. 1. Fabric Muncher Trousers
    2. Whatever, Pass the Gin Dress
    3. Dweeb's Body Builder shirt
    4. Avoid Unwanted Eye Contact on the Beach Hat
    5. An Apron for Every Occasion
    6. For the Doll That Has Everything

  13. Haha good choices.

    1. Ride 'em cowboy.
    2. Post drunken orgy dress (however you crawl back in, it faces front.)
    3. Dictator casual wear from Team America: World Police.
    4. On trend way to carry your picnic rug to the beach.
    5. Yodelaprondeeee.
    6. Oh dear! Can't rival Alexander Dyers caption, above.

  14. 1. Annie, Get Your Spanx!
    2. Episode 7: Lucy puts her dress on backwards, and can't get it off!
    3. Attack of the Eighties Shirt Monsters
    5. Celebrity Cook-off: McMillan & Wife vs. Petticoat Junction
    6. Trophy-Wife Tessie, the Golddigging Doll

  15. Can't. Stop. Laughing.

    1. The Ass That Wouldn't Quit
    2. Turn The Dress Around
    3. Almost Reno 911
    4. I Can't Feel My Face
    5. Macho, Macho Man-Apron
    6. Leigh Ann Is Right, That Doll Does Have Better Clothes Than I Do

  16. 1. Jean Brisket
    2. Episode 11: Lucy Misunderstands "Reverible" Clothing
    3. Superman's Day Off
    4. Amish Paparazzi Protectors
    5. Aprons and Maprons
    6. Child Bride About Town

  17. 1 VPL a la Wrangler

    2 The glamorous side of comedy. (What a great collection, Lucy!)

    3 EeGads, 80s oversize strikes again.

    4 Clandestine sun-bathing attire OR Gidget goes Little House…

    5 Why I hated aprons as a teenager.

    6 If I had a Cindy doll, I would have loved this (minus the wedding dress)

    (I'm wondering what a years supply of Fray Check would look like. I've had the same bottle for about 2 years…!)

  18. Pattern No. 2 Rumba Front, Mambo Back. Rumba or Mambo looks the same backwards or forwards... Dance On Lucy and Desi....

  19. Hock digedy wedge pant
    I love lithe Lucy
    I wish I was a pilot
    The bikini of shame
    The hostesses with the mostess
    The many faces of the bride of Chucky

  20. 1. You can't see it, butt, I have a camel toe too
    2. Ethel, do I have this dress on backwards? Wahhhhhhhhh!!
    3. Time to get someone to resize these pockets - now that you ask.
    4. For the woman with a great body, but a homely face.
    5. Let's get cookin'
    6. Clothing for the Stepford Wife

  21. 1. Does my bum look big in this? No? Check again, pleeeasse!!!
    2. I might love Lucy but I'm not keen on eating given the size of my waist
    3. "Good afternoon, Mr Travolta, I'm you're airline pilot for this afternoon's flight"
    4. Bikini burka - this season's must on Syria's beaches
    5. Wilkommen chez les Von Trapps
    6. If it's good enough for Joan Crawford, it's good enough for my three-year-old!

    1. Ooops, ignore the spelling mistake on number 3!!!

  22. 1. Behold the bull
    2. Red head reversal
    3. Time for Mr.Bigshirt
    4. Beachbonnet babes
    5. Always in aprons
    6. Toy couture

  23. 1. AS
    2. Can't Decide?
    3. Size NFL
    4. Hoodie Goodie
    5. Draft your own!
    6. Fashions for Big Shirley

  24. !. Rump Wranglers
    2. Rickie! The tape worms eating again, Waaaaaaah
    3. Oh, why why. Hush, Hush, Oh not I.
    4. Sneak A Do. For the shy style changer
    5. Wear you stash
    6. Dollie Dearest styled by Christina

  25. 1. Butt Clench Britches
    2. Starving in Style
    3. NFL Couture
    4. Amish Resort Wear
    5. Tom Selleck and his Sister Wives Cook
    6. Stepford Dolls

  26. 1. Butt Clench Britches
    2. Starving in Style
    3. NFL Couture
    4. Amish Resort Wear
    5. Tom Selleck and his Sister Wives Cook
    6. Stepford Dolls

  27. Rockies bottom
    Dizzy for Desi
    Pumped up pilot shirt
    I Cia Gingham
    Let's ruffle uo some dinner
    Stepford society dolly

  28. OMG! The first one is so funny I can't stop laughing long enough to give any of them a name!!!


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