Readers, do you ever shop on Amazon? I do, often. One of the things that brings me back, time and again, beside the fact that they sell pretty much everything, is their $25 free shipping policy. I fall for that EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Last week, I decided to treat myself to a new bathing suit. I've sewn swimwear in the past, but I don't know...it's one of the few things I'd rather purchase, and let somebody else sew the elastic into the legs, reinforce the crotch, etc. (A public pool is a really bad place for a wardrobe malfunction.)
I saw a cute Speedo suit that fit the bill. (This is not me, mind you, but the depilated male model.)
Wouldn't you know, it was selling for $24.99. Readers, the Amazonians are not a stupid tribe. They know that if you price something at $24.99, suckers like me are going to purchase something -- anything -- else to qualify for free shipping.
But what to buy?
I'm sure if I'd thought about it more carefully, I could have come up with something better, but I ended up buying 48 rolls of toilet paper -- no, I'm sorry, how vulgar of me -- bathroom tissue. Being the environmentally conscious person I am, I decided on Seventh Generation brand, which is 100% recycled (not from old toilet paper I hope). We've used this brand in the past and how nice not to have to shlep it home from the supermarket. Plus, buying in bulk brings the price per roll down dramatically. Plus -- it meant I qualified for FREE SHIPPING!
Anyway, not twenty minutes later, I told Michael we'd be needing to make room in our closets for a biiiiiiig package, and he reminded me that we hate Seventh Generation bathroom tissue: it's thin, it's rough, and a roll lasts about a day. Great, I thought -- I'll cancel my order! Readers, I tried a dozen times but I couldn't cancel -- the order had already been been processed and my bathing suit was about to ship -- just twenty minutes after I'd placed my original order! That's just hostile.
I'm sure those of you who have large families or live in big houses think nothing of purchasing 48 rolls of toilet paper at a time. Maybe you have an entire attic full. But for us city dwellers, that's like a bedroom.
I'm sorry, I don't usually rant so blatantly, and this isn't even sewing-related.
In closing, I ask you: are you as big a sucker for free shipping as I am? Will you buy a lifetime supply of sewing machine light bulbs just because you have a Joann's coupon? Will you gladly pick up 10 of something you don't even want, just to get the 11th free?
And just how much toilet paper should a person have on hand, just in case? (BTW, if you do like Seventh Generation bathroom tissue, you can enjoy the same deal I got here. Just try not to rub.)
I'm a native New Yorker and self-taught home sewing fanatic! I started sewing in 2009 and today make all my own clothes using mainly vintage patterns and vintage sewing machines. Welcome to the warm and whimsical world of Male Pattern Boldness, where the conversation is sewing, style, fashion, fabric, and more!