Friends, today begins a new chapter in my much-heralded decluttering saga. While longtime
MPB readers may remember my very first decluttering post
only last November, the mental preparation was years in the making, subtle shifts taking place deep within my unconscious.
Now, some of my less forgiving followers will feel compelled to remind me that despite my success at removing clutter from my life, new clutter quickly takes its place. For those heartless souls I have only one word:
So?
I am excited to announce that I have decided to launch my new decluttering project with another
MPB vintage pattern giveaway!
But first -- I must show you my new Ken dolls.
Imagine my joy when they both arrived on the same day, one delivered directly to my door by my mail delivery person, the other clumsily stuffed into my narrow metal mailbox. Thank goodness limbs weren't snapped off in the process.
Friends, meet Ken and....
Ken, my two new polyvinyl playmates, both from 1971.
On the left is "Live Action" Ken. He originally came with his own bandstand, microphone, and fringe vest, all now sadly lost. He does retain his "live action" properties however. Just watch:
He shakes, but you have to do most of the work.
On the right is the very naked, very blonde, very swarthy "Malibu Ken." Readers, I haven't seen a tan that fake-looking since Jennifer Jones in
Duel in the Sun.
Please note both Kens' buff new bods -- they're bigger, more muscular, even their feet are wider. Ken is no longer a cute, gangly seventeen-year-old boy; he's a
man, albeit one with just a molded lump between his legs.
Malibu Ken's knees bend, but neither he nor Live Action Ken will be in Cirque du Soleil any time soon. Still, compared to stiff Sixties Ken and Allan, they're a big improvement.
The first thing I did was get them into some better looking clothes.
Here's Live Action Ken in "The Casual Scene", which sounds like a 1970s teens-on-acid flick but is actually the name Mattel gave this outfit. I think it's a big improvement over that psychedelic polyester Ice Capades reject, don't you?
Then we got poor naked Malibu Ken dressed in some of Allan's hand-me-downs. MUCH better.
Needless to say,
old Ken and Allan are not very excited about these two and don't intend to be sharing their vinyl carrying case with them any time soon. (Ken's on the fence, actually.)
More enlargeable, kissable pics of Ken and Ken
here.
And now on to our pattern giveaway.
Friends, inspired by my new Seventies-era Kens, I have decided to give away the lovely 1973 dress/bikini pants/hip-hugger bell-bottoms pattern pictured up top. Isn't it the grooviest!
It's a Size 12: Bust 34", Waist 26 1/2", Hip 36"
I can see so many of my you wearing this kind of thing; in fact, I'm pretty certain many of you
were wearing this in 1973.
All you have to do to enter today's giveaway is....
name my two new dolls. (We can't have
three dolls named Ken, can we? How would they know whom I was talking to?)
Be creative but keep it clean and please include a brief statement on why are you giving them the names you've chosen.
You have till Friday, March 4th , midnight EST, to enter, and
Male Pattern Boldness followers are eligible the world over. The winner will be chosen by random drawing and announced on Saturday.
If you're not interested in the pattern but still want to take a crack at names, your contribution will be greatly appreciated. Just let me know you're not in the running.
Ready, set...
Name those dolls!
UPDATE: It sounds like me, it looks like me, it
is me! Check it out:
Peter on BurdaStyle
Hey! I am the first to post! Thanks to my barking dog who felt I should be up at 2:30 PST. Anyway, back on topic. Hell yes I wore this. I remember many skirts and dresses that came with their own panties, that should have been our first clue that the hemlines were too short, What were we thinking?
ReplyDeleteElle, names, names, I want names! ;)
ReplyDeleteOops, I got so excited about being the first to comment that I forgot to give my suggestions for names, seeing as these gentlemen are from the 70's, names of 70's icons seem to be in order, IMO. How about Burt (Reynolds), Lee (Majors), Steve (McQueen), Rock (Hudson?
ReplyDeleteLive action Ken could be "Rocky" and Malibu Ken could be "The Creature" keeping it '70s and possibly scaring Ken and Allan and never being able to share housing.
ReplyDeleteBut i think you should totally sew some little gold lame shorty hip huggers for "The Creature".
Ben and Glen. Is that a sombrero?
ReplyDeleteI don't think the 1973 record spinning dress is quite me but I'd love to have a crack at names for your new vinyls. The first shot of Malibu Ken in his sombrero and tight jeans had me ROARING with laughter by the way. Oh yes, names. Tony for Live Action Ken and Russell for Malibu Ken. x
ReplyDeleteI was going to say Brad and Russell, but since Jane beat me to Russell I'll say Brad 'n Chad. (The blonde totally looks like Chad Everett, no?)
ReplyDeleteBrad and Chad...Brad and Chad... Hmmmm....
ReplyDeleteDamn, I was going to go with Burt and Chad but they've both been taken now, so I'll say Richard and Brian, because I find dolls mildly disconcerting in the same way as Richard O'Brien (I don't know if any of you in the US will have seen his game show, The Crystal Maze, but it used to scare the life out of me as a small child).
ReplyDeleteI would name them after the characters in Tropic Thunder because the fake tan of Malibu Ken reminded me of Robert Downey Jr's character (who changed his skin color for a movie).
ReplyDeleteSo:
Malibu Ken -> Kirk Lazarus (the fake tan)
Action Ken -> Tugg Speedman (the action one)
For the other two, let's keep their real names :)
Ernie and Bert.
ReplyDeleteDid i win?
I came across a sewing pattern for Kne clothes yesterday at work...should have snapped it up! These posts are almost more entertaining than Cathy (but don't tell her I said so!)
ReplyDelete>>I'm pretty certain many of you were wearing this in 1973.<<
ReplyDeleteGuilty as charged. I have this pattern and there might be a photo or two of me in one of the "sizzler" dresses I made from it, but you won't see that pic on "teh internets," lol. Even if I was totally cool and hip in that dress when I was in junior high. So there ;-)
I would love it if you name "Live Action" Ken ELVIS and Malibu Ken, lets call him FABIO.
ReplyDeleteTom, Dick and Harry. Only because I used to think "Every Tom, Dick and Harry..." was the funniest saying when I was young enought to play with dolls. So, naturally, that was the first think to come to mind.
ReplyDeleteI 'm not sure if it was all me...but someone has unearthed a monster.
ReplyDeleteMalibuu Ken-Dale
Live Action Ken-Dick (oops)
OMG, I have that awesome red, white and blue outfit. So groovy.
ReplyDeleteBrad and Chad
ReplyDeleteI think they look like Starsky and Hutch!
ReplyDeleteDark haired "Ken" is actually Sebastian. He arrived via private courier from his former home, a pre-war duplex on Sutton Place. Sadly his lacrosse stick and Weejuns were lost coming across town. To his family and chums he's simply known as "S.J." Malibu "Ken" is really Trig. Poor Trig, his name has been permanently ruined by that Palin woman. Keep your chin up, Trig. You're HOT!
ReplyDeleteBTW I already have matching bikinis for all my outfits, so I don't need the pattern.
Rory and Biff. LOL
ReplyDeleteOn an aside, a site you might like, Peter. Modern fashion's ancient sources. :)
http://listverse.com/2011/03/03/10-been-there-done-thats-of-fashion/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed:+TheListUniverse+(The+List+Universe)
Here's what I expect from the title "The Casual Scene":
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8HVTiaFFs4
OMG, that's "Live Action" Ken dancing!
ReplyDeleteI laughed at the 'moulded lump between the legs'. When dressing the male mannequins we always used to joke about the 'smooth spot' between the legs! Ah! The memories. Now we use dress forms that are androgynous and we stuff the clothes to get the proper shape. AS for the names . . . havne't a clue. I never really named my Barbies or Kens as a child . . .and as for the '70's pattern. You are right! I did have an outfit like that. It was green with white polka dots and I had matching pants. It was made from a double knit polyester which will probably still be around after the next ice age!
ReplyDeleteWell, for "Malibu Ken," how about "RAY" because he's seen way too many of them! For "Live Action Ken,"...I like "ED"..just because. Please, may I win the pattern because my Mom wouldn't buy it for me in '73!
ReplyDeletePeter, I enjoy reading your blog so very much. Thanks.
when you bend their knees do they sound crack crack crack? I remember clearly a popping sound when I bended the knees of my barbies as a child. I always said that their knees sounded exactly like my grandma's heheheheheh .
ReplyDeleteI'm not interested in the pattern, but I think the tanned ken is george (like george hamilton) and the other is Chaz.
How about Ian and Beaux? Ian was the main hunky guy in the first romance novel I ever read and I always wanted to date someone named Beaux.
ReplyDeleteI'm really enjoying your Ken posts! I was never allowed to have one :( my Parents thought that lump was inappropriate.
I also made this top, from this pattern. I never wore it as a dress, but over bell bottoms, yeah baby!
ReplyDeleteI really like Brad and Chad!
Jane
Sadly, there already IS a Mattel Brad doll... :(
ReplyDeleteRaquel, that's exactly the sound! I don't see myself bending their knees too often, though. After 40 years they're a little arthritic.
How 'bout Karl for "Live Action Ken" and Blake for "Malibu Ken"?
ReplyDeleteI love these doll posts! Their clothes ALONE crack me up!
Troy and Hunter after Tab Hunter and Troy Donohue. Live action looks like a preppy Hunter type to me, and Surfer man must be named Troy.
ReplyDelete"just a molded lump between his legs."... I'm actually IMPRESSED that the guys have body parts!! (Soooo shameful to Puritan society, eh.)
ReplyDeleteThe pattern... Great for pregger teens, who weren't that common during that time (fortunately/unfortunately).
As always, THANKS for sharing, Peter ;)
Don't enter me, but I'm loving Chad for Malibu Ken. Maybe Jim for Live Action Ken, because he reminds me of James Brolin from his Marcus Welby days. Obviously, I loved the 70s medical shows.
ReplyDeleteTrue fact: My older son's middle name is Everett, because when I was very pregnant with him I caught a Medical Center re-run and, well, you can guess the rest. His first name (Tyler) comes from my other side - Aerosmith. Obviously my husband had no say in the naming process. ;-)
And, obviously, I said obviously one or two too many times.
ReplyDelete"Groovy"? And how! That red-white-and-blue striped get-up is right out of "Love, American Style". I won't propose any names because I don't want to win that regrettable pattern. I don't like it when adults wear children's styles. However, I will offer my vote for Troy and Hunter as names. Or you could contemporize them a bit and call them Chase and Shane. Just don't send me that pattern!
ReplyDeleteDark-haired Ken looks kinda like Chris Isaak to me, so I'd go with Chris. Too tan Ken looks like a John, as in "I dunno who he is, some john, I guess?"
ReplyDeleteI'm going with Kurt for the overly tan beach bum and Bobby for the dark haired one. Bobby kind of looks like a Kennedy. I would LOVE to make all 3 of those patterns but I assure you I would wear them separately.
ReplyDeleteI think one of them should be called Rhett. No sure which one though.
ReplyDeleteLive Action Ken looks like a James to me- as in Bond. It must be the dark hair, pirate smile and extra flexibility.
ReplyDeleteMalibu Ken just makes me think of a certain beach talking Ninja Turtle, prompting me to suggest "Mikey." Besides, as the theme song declares: he's a "party dude."
I'm in~how about Matthew and Eric~a couple of boys names I grew up with in the 70's!! Btw~did you make the dolls clothes??
ReplyDeleteAnother vote for Troy and Hunter. Don't enter me in the pattern draw--I loved that look in the '70s, when that pattern would have been way too big for me, but can't see myself in it now, when the pattern would be way too small. C'est la vie.
ReplyDeleteOn a related note, I saw a commercial the other day on Free Speech TV? Al Gore's channel? featuring a Barbie-and-Ken-like doll couple in a romantic mood. She asks, "do you have protection?" He replies, "Don't worry about it." The announcer warns, "Unless your man is made of plastic . . ." Pretty funny. It must be on youtube but I cannot find it.
Chip and Jed. Perfect for two hip boys!
ReplyDeleteVicky.
How about Bo and Luke? (Remember Dukes of Hazzard?) Too redneck?
ReplyDeleteI am laughing so hard here...have the Riot on the Sunset Strip vid playing in another window, LOVING the music, which gives a whole new dimension to the name post!! I'm thinking David (as in Cassidy) for live action Ken and Leif (as in Garrett) for Malibu Ken...the tan matches!! And how could we ever forget The Partridge Family or Three For The Road! Have a fantastic day, Peter...
ReplyDeleteHow about some Scottish names...What about Angus and Malcolm ('Mal' for short)...hehehehe
ReplyDeleteI like Troy and Hunter too. Angus and Malcolm are great as well. Rhett as mentioned, and maybe Butler.
ReplyDeleteThe possibilities are endless.
My brother had a GI Joe doll, he had terrible warts all over his molded lump.
David as in Hasselhoff and Brock What 70's soapy did not contain a Brock? I love that pattern I own it and made the smock and flares for myself when I was 17 Now I make seventies clothes for my teenage daughter I love scouring the op shops for those lovely old patterns Lucky for me my 14 year old has a flair for clothes and does not have a complex about wearing things that are not mainstream So I can indulge my desire to sew retro. Cos now I am too old and too well proportioned to wear them LOL
ReplyDeleteI suggest Greg and Keith -- real 70s names with sitcom legacies, laugh track and all. Dig it! I have the photos to prove I wore that kind of collar in its heyday. But I'm keeping them out of circulation.
ReplyDeleteI just decluttered a box of vintage patterns myself, so don't enter me in the drawing. And I have no names. I just have to say how scared I am of Malibu Ken's tan. It is scary. That is all.
ReplyDeleteNot into the pattern, but I think Malibu Ken should be "Mel" which is short for MELANOMA...and live action Ken needs a sexy name - like Dick Trickle (former NASCAR driver).
ReplyDeleteBrent and Shelby.
ReplyDeleteBob Newhart redux: how about "Darryl and Darryl"
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the BurdaStyle article! Well written (duh, I would expect nothing less), and I forgot to mention that I have no interest in the pattern. I have more suggestions for names, Pierre, Hector, or Alistair for an international flavor. Hector would obviously be the one with the scary tan.
ReplyDeleteCarter and Savoy.
ReplyDeleteI don't think they should stray far from their roots: Kenmore after your first sewing machine (yes I read your Burdastyle article!) and Kenneth. And as back up, there is Kendell/Kendall/Kendoll haha.
ReplyDeleteI like Chad and Hunter too. Don't you dare enter me for that pattern draw!
ReplyDeletenot looking for a pattern, but what about Chip 'n Dale? Or Dirk and Devin . . . or Marlon and McQueen . . .or Jared and Blake . . . and yes that tan is scary!
ReplyDeleteOK, that made me laugh, Valerie.
ReplyDeleteSo many of these names sound like characters for the next Dynasty spin-off!
James and Damian were my first thought, but after skimming other comments, Brad and Chad is classic.
ReplyDeleteBrandon and Kyle.... I know I'm too late but Brandon and Kyle seem like two dudes at a B grade cocktail bar that has seen way too much polyester over the years.... Their names like their lives never quite lived up to the poly dreams of their youth... they are clinging on to their lost youth and the clothes that held so much promise...
ReplyDeleteEllen
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNBoJZN-KIk
So who won the pattern? : ) What are their names??
ReplyDelete