tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post2519999849987548178..comments2023-10-20T08:27:40.314-04:00Comments on male pattern boldness: Honest FeedbackPeter Lappinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05109154527996679077noreply@blogger.comBlogger67125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-91614952576741557562012-10-12T11:12:15.374-04:002012-10-12T11:12:15.374-04:00Phyllis:
I see nothing "sleazy" about ...Phyllis: <br /><br />I see nothing "sleazy" about writing an anonymous critical comment. Either the observation is accurate or it isn't, the identity of the writer is immaterial. Among other reasons, many people don't leave comments with their names because they don't want to be bothered with silly blowback by people who can't take criticism, despite haven't put their work out there for all to see.<br /><br />Of course the writer should be civil. But if you don't want feedback, don't take comments.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-74019382972491383762012-09-28T17:26:12.824-04:002012-09-28T17:26:12.824-04:00There have been a couple of bloggers who were look...There have been a couple of bloggers who were looked on as great teachers and who said things that were completely wrong or ignorant. I admit to being less patient with them.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-15598776677582852452012-09-28T17:24:27.631-04:002012-09-28T17:24:27.631-04:00"We want them to know that we know it's n..."We want them to know that we know it's not perfect before they can say it. Am I wrong about this?"<br /><br />No, and it's important that the blogger indicate that s/he knows it's not perfect. There are people who post things that are terribly fitting and unironed and they act like a 5-year-old who baked a mud pie.<br /><br />"I also think that while we're clear about what we see as a flaw in someone else's project, we're not always clear about out motivation for telling them about it."<br /><br />Very true. That's why I rarely leave negative comments. And at least they're sewing and progressing and taking the time to take photos and put them up on a blog. I might post info about a method I've read about, or a source for supplies.<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-51041199150532878132012-09-27T09:24:03.417-04:002012-09-27T09:24:03.417-04:00I have absolutely no problem with people being in ...I have absolutely no problem with people being in different stages in their sewing life...we were all there. What I have a problem with is them showing tutorials and putting themselves out there as some kind of expert on the subject. You know they never come back and say, "Wow, that was the wrong fabric and stitches for that design. It fell apart and I had to fix it!". No...they just listen to the adoration and let people think they know what they are doing.Stacyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07464318343985100834noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-3398530669505039372012-09-26T20:48:37.650-04:002012-09-26T20:48:37.650-04:00I don't critique anyone's work as I am a f...I don't critique anyone's work as I am a fake sewer so to speak. I just cut and re-construct and make crafty useful things.<br /><br />I usually go to You Tube for tips and techniques and search the internet. If someone asks me what fabric I would like better I will not give my opinion unless it is someone I know in the real world. People make what they like.Josettehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17470039217443534947noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-48615450320115229502012-09-26T20:37:43.781-04:002012-09-26T20:37:43.781-04:00That is all that matters, it was for your niece an...That is all that matters, it was for your niece and nobody else.Josettehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17470039217443534947noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-75573486785710751782012-09-26T20:34:28.182-04:002012-09-26T20:34:28.182-04:00I agree with this and well said again.I agree with this and well said again.Josettehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17470039217443534947noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-24716046426158597962012-09-26T19:03:32.417-04:002012-09-26T19:03:32.417-04:00When I chime in with compliments, they are sincere...When I chime in with compliments, they are sincere. If I don’t like something, I try to be quiet.<br /><br />If the blogger is asking an opinion, such as which possible design choice is liked better, I’ll give my opinion and know that the artist will go with their personal choice regardless of anyone else’s opinion. It’s their garment and they should do what they like. <br /><br />I like helpful hints from the community – but of course it’s not my work that is being critiqued. I’m the coward who does not show photos for others to blow up to 400%.<br /><br />I appreciate all the hard work that people put into their projects and blogs. I think it’s great that they allow us to follow them on their journey.<br /><br />Everyone is at a different stage of their journey. What seems like a hot mess to one person is a great achievement to another.<br />Robertanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-26202462288269159242012-09-26T18:10:06.838-04:002012-09-26T18:10:06.838-04:00Well said! I'm not sewing "academically&...Well said! I'm not sewing "academically" for lack of a better description. I sew for fun, because I love to make things.<br /><br />I look at blogging about sewing like being in a real life sewing club. You wouldn't show up at a sewing club and tell someone how they should have fixed the fit on something they just made. You would celebrate it and compliment an aspect you liked. We all know the time and effort it takes to make a garment. Don't give negative feedback UNLESS it is being asked for.liza janehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16916364137307894200noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-44670552225898782562012-09-26T15:37:17.713-04:002012-09-26T15:37:17.713-04:00On the subject of pointing out flaws in your own w...On the subject of pointing out flaws in your own work (usually immediately following a compliment!), I have worked very hard to learn not to do that. I believe most people who comment genuinely do not see even the most glaring errors, so why point them out!? I also make stained glass, and the one thing I learned that truly cemented this policy in place for me was seeing an exhibit of beautiful Tiffaney lamps one time. The soldering on them was just as "ugly" as mine! I'll bet the artists in Tiffany studios would never have pointed out how lumpy their solder looked! <br /><br />And a comment on critisism. If you feel compelled to offer a critique - <br />say what you mean, mean what you say, but don't say it mean. ;)<br /><br />~KellyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-121339427827294112012-09-26T15:22:06.491-04:002012-09-26T15:22:06.491-04:00I'm glad that someone else other than me has t...I'm glad that someone else other than me has this view.Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11447949592701882774noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-18716221536214123132012-09-26T15:20:06.340-04:002012-09-26T15:20:06.340-04:00Exactly - there's no call for personal attacks...Exactly - there's no call for personal attacks on someone's blog. There's a difference between being mean and truly trying to be helpful, as Nancy K mentioned. Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11447949592701882774noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-88285303815910353482012-09-26T12:47:00.707-04:002012-09-26T12:47:00.707-04:00I have gotten burned for giving constructive feedb...I have gotten burned for giving constructive feedback in the past, so now I usually just click away if I feel the urge. People nowadays have lost the ability to receive it...apparently. I think older generations are more able, but the current system of "Everyone's Fantastic and Deserve a Medal for Everything They Do!!" ideology has warped people's self-image. I am diligently working on my piece of the younger generation to make sure they realize they are not perfect. Wildly cute and good learners, but still...not perfect.<br /><br />Just looking at things people pin on Pinterest, they are usually a hot mess. I look at tutorials, the fabrics they use and construction techniques, and just shake my head. They have 100 comments on what a fantastic tutorial it is and how Cuuuutttttteee!! Most of those people have never sewn a stitch in their life and have no idea that item probably got worn once before it ended up in the donate pile.<br /><br />I amiably point out my flaws in construction. I know my stuff isn't perfect and I could have done better. If someone wants to give me valuable advice I'm all for it. My response likely will be, "Yes, I know, but thanks. I had 2 hours to make this after the kids went to bed, so it is what it is." After 20 some years of sewing I've made most of the mistakes, but I'm always open for new ones! ;)Stacyhttp://thelandofka.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-69467445849456499412012-09-26T12:26:51.640-04:002012-09-26T12:26:51.640-04:00I was an art major in college and one of the first...I was an art major in college and one of the first and most difficult things I had to learn in freshman drawing was to listen to critiques of my work without taking it personally. But it was absolutely necessary to learn that lesson-- how else to ever improve?<br />I rarely read the comments on blogs because most of them ("great job!" "that's beautiful!") are a waste of time. If the blogger really has struck perfection, sure, go ahead and say so, but I wish that rather than "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all," more people would just not say anything at all! Hoosiermamanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-16596313949238766882012-09-26T12:18:26.938-04:002012-09-26T12:18:26.938-04:00Someone left a comment on my blog recently that wa...Someone left a comment on my blog recently that was exactly this! Start with praise, give constructive criticism, give more praise. It's an excellent template! I was in awe of her diplomacy.didyoumakethathttp://didyoumakethat.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-29729535926592478262012-09-26T12:14:30.658-04:002012-09-26T12:14:30.658-04:00There are two things that occur to me. Before I p...There are two things that occur to me. Before I post a comment, I try and remember the difference between communicating by commenting on a blog, and communicating in person. When you are not communicating face to face, the majority of your message is lost. You can't deal in nuances. The difference between constructive criticism and malicious unkindness is sometimes impossible to discern. Secondly, it seems that the audience for sewing blogs (where I've never actually seen someone deliberately trying to generate a reaction by saying something rude) is probably very different than the audience for a TV show blog or a political blog. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-87114428096571148122012-09-26T11:35:32.164-04:002012-09-26T11:35:32.164-04:00THE WORST comment I ever saw on a sewing blog was ...THE WORST comment I ever saw on a sewing blog was someone being wildly cruel about the blogger's weight. This was completely unsolicited and out of the blue. I hope that person is now in jail -- if she isn't, she should be.Harriethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13880173260724402584noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-41216722921846821072012-09-26T11:02:12.136-04:002012-09-26T11:02:12.136-04:00If someone posts a garment on PR, or on their blog...If someone posts a garment on PR, or on their blog, I either say something nice, or don't say anything at all. But, I don't always comment especially if I am pressed for time. I give constructive criticism if people ask for it. If someone puts up a muslin and asks for fitting help,and I think that I can help I will. This can of course backfire anyway. I told a woman who was at least a DD cup that the jacket pattern without any fitting seams or darts that she was using was a poor choice for a curvy woman. She thought I called her fat. My size 4 dd is a curvy woman with her DD cup bust. If someone is asking for help it is still not always appreciated.<br />Nancy Khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02235347323004026695noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-44776424788735221232012-09-26T10:40:46.153-04:002012-09-26T10:40:46.153-04:00A lot of people suffer severely from cognitive dis... A lot of people suffer severely from cognitive dissonance. They think they see a piece of perfection in their own work (a stitch here, a color choice their, a texture over there) and generalize that individual piece to the whole. If they have the slightest narcissistic tendencies, they simply at base won't accept critique ("ah ... maybe you think the orange geometric's do not go well with the purple flowers?" "No, you don't know what you are talking about! That's PERFECT! Sooooo Cree-AYE-tive!").<br /><br />Such people are looking for adoration, not improvement. If I suspect narcissism, I leave the critiquing to others, because it is going to get bloody.<br /><br />Some groups (writers groups I've seen over the years come to mind, and others) tend to "dumb down" to pious smiles and platitudes in an effort to stifle comments not saccharine. Plain and simple, for most people the request on their part for critique is a request for adoration, not improvement. Many people believe THEIR personal opinions are KNOWN universal facts. Gentle suggestions otherwise bring immediate lightning strikes from the deities on high.<br /><br />Praise is easy to gratefully accept, while critique is often resisted strongly.<br /><br />I (usually) consider the audience mind-set before I critique. I say "usually" because sometimes I'm out of there anyway and don't care for the sure-to-come babbling no matter what was said.SeamsterEast@aol.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-76115162431465479922012-09-26T07:00:03.478-04:002012-09-26T07:00:03.478-04:00I always try to keep in mind that there is a diffe...I always try to keep in mind that there is a difference between the terms critique and criticism. A critique is an evaluation and not necessarily negative, criticism usually is. So if someone is asking for a critique, I would make sure that any comments I left were positive in tone. If I couldn't find some way to do that then I just won't say anything. I often critique my own sewing on my blog and people can get quite worried about that and tell me it's wonderful etc. and tick me off for being negative - they're confusing critique with criticism. It's a brave blogger that invites critique though, I must admit some of the solicited advice I've had at times has got my back up and left me feeling quite indignant! I'm sure they meant well but it's damn hard to give advice without sounding patronising. I've also seen third parties react very badly to less than 100% positive comments, even if the blogger has solicited them. It seems like these days there is virtually no understanding of the concept of critique. It's almost like you have to be unrelentingly positive about something or completely bitchy (critical), there isn't a middle ground. Coming from academia, critiquing of your work is just part and parcel of how it all works and an essential part of my progress in most things, but it seems as though that has fallen by the wayside in the general online world anyways. Jacquihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01192730590127098720noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-78495986175498072962012-09-26T06:58:08.357-04:002012-09-26T06:58:08.357-04:00K. I remember the post you mean (it was probably t...K. I remember the post you mean (it was probably the first time I commented on your blog) and the back story is that I struggled a bit before I decided to say something (Should I? Should I not?) and then must I have re-written my comment at least twice to make sure it was interpreted the way I intended it because once a comment is out there on the web it really can't be taken back. (brief summary: it was about being careful not to over fit a muslin and to always add the sleeves if a pattern has them so the ease in the back and shoulders is correctly analyzed on the body)Phyllishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04668161467072636784noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-39690802562300497912012-09-26T05:30:01.735-04:002012-09-26T05:30:01.735-04:00I've never heard either of these and I think t...I've never heard either of these and I think the easiest one to remember is the sandwich! But I love it. Summer Flieshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17092393256871735567noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-9261236314744305042012-09-26T05:27:41.747-04:002012-09-26T05:27:41.747-04:00EEk, this is a dilemma. I am a terrible know all a...EEk, this is a dilemma. I am a terrible know all anyway, but I really DO know heaps about sewing, and IRL, am constantly asked for advice on sewing. So, I WILL say if I can clearly articulate the issue and a possible solution, but I won't say if is is a finished project, because frankly the horse had bolted. Noone needs the downer of a, "Pity you didn't know to xyz when you were making this as it would have been SO much better" comment. Just Not Helpful. Now If the blogger has asked for feedback as to why the finished project isn't sitting right, then I'd say.<br />You see, when I was 11 I used to go out in dresses I made myself, and I bet they were a hot mess. But I was very proud of myself and it gave me the confidence to keep sewing. To me the most important thing is not that THIS project is perfect, but that there will be a next project, and it will be a little bit better. But putting people off by finding fault with their projects out of turn is just mean.<br />Context is so important. Just like: adult male in wickedly cool floral linen shirt AND styley subversive floral linen shorts AT THE SAME TIME = 4 year old's jimjams. :)MrsC (Maryanne)https://www.blogger.com/profile/14440723067459232998noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-91769776057890350982012-09-26T03:59:59.405-04:002012-09-26T03:59:59.405-04:00I think many people miss the point that criticism,...I think many people miss the point that criticism, when done properly, doesn't have to be negative at all. Or maybe we're using the word criticism here to only refer to negative feedback? I don't see it as inherently negative, so I'm a little confused. <br /><br />I fear that my comment on a previous post may have contributed to the topic here, and I think it probably didn't come off the way I intended it to. My point was that it is often more difficult to find people whose sewing knowledge encompasses those techniques that make garments 'couture' and therefore people who may be attempting more advanced techniques in their sewing would be frustrated at 1) not having a venue to learn and critique at that level, and 2) seeing what may seem like huge praise for something that is a beginning level project but not getting any feedback (good or bad) for their own garment, which was perhaps significantly more difficult and is perhaps in need of a critical eye. I wasn't necessarily speaking from my own personal experience, but rather trying to take a different look at 'haute couture' or the lack thereof in many sewing blogs.<br /><br />I personally love suggestions for improvements to my sewing. How can you grow in your craft without learning to take feedback of all kinds? As they say, you take what works and you leave the rest. The point of my comment was that maybe if all we're getting is positive feedback all the time, how can we really judge ourselves and our skills objectively?Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11447949592701882774noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-80481030636027697882012-09-26T03:53:21.057-04:002012-09-26T03:53:21.057-04:00When I have posted garments I have made, personall...When I have posted garments I have made, personally pointing out all the flaws , I get kind comments,even if I know the garment looks terrible on me. (though quite honestly Im not sure how I would react if someone said I look terrible in it!) I personally leave good comments or if I have a similar problem give solutions or suggestions if known.<br />We are all at different levels, and that has to be taken into consideration. Even though we dip into other peoples blogging lives, do we really know each other well enough to be so blunt and honest without offending. Louisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09074168748281297290noreply@blogger.com