tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post9145815415870036517..comments2023-10-20T08:27:40.314-04:00Comments on male pattern boldness: The Demise of DaintyPeter Lappinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05109154527996679077noreply@blogger.comBlogger53125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-56839529330818788642013-01-28T10:23:54.949-05:002013-01-28T10:23:54.949-05:00I love being dainty- soft, gentle, demure, and pol...I love being dainty- soft, gentle, demure, and polite.<br />My boyfriend loves my delicate nature, as do my family and friends- I connect with and nurture the best when I am expressing my femininity.<br /><br />I am not weak or dependent- I have a job, am attending university as a science major, take part in my favorite hobbies, and say what I feel is true. I do these things, or at least try to, in a tactful respectful manner. I do not attempt to bring more attention to myself than necessary, and I can honestly say my peers and colleagues treat me very politely.<br /><br />Being dainty is authentic to me. Daintiness is not just a style of clothing or a way to describe lingerie-it is an energy and a choice. And that choice makes my life extremely enjoyable.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-72107980510860263042012-01-24T09:55:13.490-05:002012-01-24T09:55:13.490-05:00Dainty? forgot about that word completely. Today....Dainty? forgot about that word completely. Today....when most females don't considered blowing someone as 'having sex' with them, Dainty is obviously long gone! Well.. you did ask!roy gumpelhttp://www.roygumpel.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-91657947112767915272012-01-20T16:26:46.384-05:002012-01-20T16:26:46.384-05:001.) I think it was the post-WWII attempt to shove ...1.) I think it was the post-WWII attempt to shove women into more rigidly feminine roles that made daintiness something negative in our minds. It took something precious and turned it into a prison. <br /><br />2.) It's something that's considered great for women, but beneath a man's dignity. Rugged, cynical women are admired, but men can never do or wear anything dainty. It's flat-out ridiculed. And it's a man's world, where masculine traits are presumed to be better suited to just about any position of power. <br /><br />People might be delighted by dainty women, but they don't take them seriously.Laotahttp://laotasgallery.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-84023167995363169382012-01-19T10:34:46.066-05:002012-01-19T10:34:46.066-05:00Dainty? Does anyone actually aspire to be dainty ...Dainty? Does anyone actually aspire to be dainty anymore? I know my mother moaned "I didn't raise any ladies" about my sisters and I (really, ma - were you trying to raise ladies, because I missed that part). I think our lack of daintiness was what she was missing. But, she was born in 1932 and back then dainty would get you somewhere in life. Is that true now?<br /><br />If you want to be dainty, I think you have to marry well, and forget about a career that makes you any cash. Dainty seems like an act to me - but perhaps it comes naturally to some. I believe there is a place still for grace, and charm, and good manners, etc - but dainty seems a little over the top.<br /><br />I think I'll agree with Terri and say that dainty is good in lingerie and hankys. I'd hate to have to deal with too many dainty women or men.wingamajighttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01130319805109029429noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-54602766027235532942012-01-18T15:49:17.869-05:002012-01-18T15:49:17.869-05:00Growing up, I always felt a little inadequate beca...Growing up, I always felt a little inadequate because I was not "dainty" and looked silly if I tried.<br /><br />I'm sort of glad we've left it behind as an ideal of femininity. However, its replacement, "sexy", is also getting a bit tedious.<br /><br />Women, and "femininity", are/is more multidimensional. It's annoying to have one aspect of femininity upheld as an ideal, especially if you know it's one you'll never reach.geogrrlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16935352129240009810noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-88547130216362107332012-01-18T09:18:07.421-05:002012-01-18T09:18:07.421-05:00@Ustabahippie
The first thing that springs to min...@Ustabahippie<br /><br />The first thing that springs to mind is colored streaks in one's hair. It gets read as edgy, etc on white women in general and "ghetto" on black and Hispanic women. I think racialicious.com has a post up on it. Looking at their posts on the whiteness of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl archetype may also be helpful.<br /><br />@Geri<br /><br />Nods to your thoughts on class. I'm pretty sure the women doing back breaking labor for middle class families never got to be dainty, for example. <br /><br />Agreed on dainty tying into the Madonna/whore patriarchal bullshit. It would lovely if the kyriarchy would stop tainting things, wouldn't it?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-68108004893090815702012-01-17T16:14:29.392-05:002012-01-17T16:14:29.392-05:00Troubleisme: I was going to say something quite si...Troubleisme: I was going to say something quite similar - but to do with class. I was thinking about my grandmother who was in her late teens/twenties during this era - but as a working class (and half-caste) woman, I'd doubt she was ever described as dainty. She was tough & strong, and raised her daughters to be the same. All through my family there are these tough (and sometimes scary!) women,who have also had to deal with often abusive & fairly useless men. I think all the "daintiness" would have been stomped out of you pretty quickly.<br /><br /> Also the binary between images of "daintiness" and sexualised imagery , seems to me to be a bit of a false one- I'd say both kinds of representations of women are actually about controlling female sexuality, and are just two different sides of the same coin.Gerihttp://msstitch.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-47349580255778215212012-01-17T16:10:12.362-05:002012-01-17T16:10:12.362-05:00We were discussing, only this morning, how dainty ...We were discussing, only this morning, how dainty our girl cat is compared to the boy cat! Can't say I've ever been referred to as dainty and certainly neither have my daughters. But I might consider my mum as dainty come to think of it. She is very petite and very ladylike, very careful and sweet natured but alas that doesn't seem to have worked in her favour over the years. I think nowadays one has to shout to be heard and throw a good deal of weight around to get noticed... and there's nothing dainty about that!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-56833356646083589342012-01-17T15:37:32.395-05:002012-01-17T15:37:32.395-05:00Hello Anonymous and thetroublesome, I'm really...Hello Anonymous and thetroublesome, I'm really interested in your individual descriptions of how "edgy" and "ghetto" would compare. Can you give an example? I'm so interested in this conversation!Ustabahippienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-24426780410748649582012-01-17T13:34:34.812-05:002012-01-17T13:34:34.812-05:00Wish I had time now to read through all the commen...Wish I had time now to read through all the comments and replies! <br />Jane Powell certainly had a far from "dainty" facial expression as she sang Love is Where you Find it. <br />I never felt dainty. My mother wanted me to wear a girdle in the 60's, probably because she was embarrassed by my athletic bottom! Thank God for the women'ts lib movement and the negation of he need to be "dainty" to be attractive! Not that there weren't negative aspects to the way women were expected to behave then (as now!), but at least we could be who we were, if we were brave enough.Ustabahippienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-4260992014080401612012-01-17T13:20:28.004-05:002012-01-17T13:20:28.004-05:00The only time I've heard dainty and not been s...The only time I've heard dainty and not been slightly taken aback was at Tompkins Square Park where a woman called my dog dainty. I agreed. My mother used the term dainty to describe a feminine ideal but that ideal was something I could never meet. In order to be dainty (at least as I was aware of it) one needed to be petite (not me) quiet (not me), white (not me) and thin. I alternately chased it and eschewed it. I'm glad dainty is gone, it's too loaded and exclusionary.Melodyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16504855018934043734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-27525517198852406282012-01-17T12:45:45.666-05:002012-01-17T12:45:45.666-05:00No worries, my ability to make typos is legendary....No worries, my ability to make typos is legendary.<br /><br />Sexism in language is definitely a big deal. I try my best to stick to insults that don't rely on the assumption that women as less than men.<br /><br />However I'm sure if your examples relate to being dainty, so much as they relate to more general stereotypes about women being stupid, incompetent, constant children, etc. It also reminds me of pseudo scientific theory that Blacks folks were constant children that was used as justification for slavery. <br /><br />It seems to me that only a very specific type of woman gets to be dainty in the wider social consciousness. That image doesn't involve POC, working class women, women with disabilities, etc. I really get the desire to reclaim something that's been denied, but like you said, many things women of color do get coded as "ghetto" while seen as valid on white bodies.<br /><br />Seriously, thanks for the awesome reply, I was a little afraid I was going to be accused of playing the race card, calling Peter racist, etc. That obviously isn't the case, but this is the internet.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-42913668802284573332012-01-17T11:54:59.507-05:002012-01-17T11:54:59.507-05:00Speaking of pajamas...
http://newsfeed.time.com/2...Speaking of pajamas...<br /><br />http://newsfeed.time.com/2012/01/17/louisiana-official-moves-to-ban-wearing-pajamas-in-public/Testosteronenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-48295463952553666952012-01-17T11:29:17.653-05:002012-01-17T11:29:17.653-05:00Dainty and anything else refined, like courtesy an...Dainty and anything else refined, like courtesy and being pleasant, are deemed weak. Nowadays, nice=stupid. Mean, slovenly, "me first", are confused with being your own person. Now selfish swine of both genders swagger about as if they are "the smartest in the room" - we've been tainted by Enron, Wall Street, and ironically, a faux sense of individuality that has currency with the masses.<br /><br />Take Laura Mae, she's industrious, stylish, and without a trace of guile (except when she twirls, but that may just be to tease her public). She's essentially an artist, engineer (who can reverse-engineer), stylist, and highly productive member of society. What Laura Mae does requires moxy and individuality, and not the pajama-bottom-feeding type of either of those attributes.<br /><br />The masses will always be the masses, for better or worse.<br /><br />Thank goodness for the one-off's and rugged individuals.Testosteronenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-48783851017617077912012-01-17T11:13:21.899-05:002012-01-17T11:13:21.899-05:00Sorry for the typos in the last graf.Sorry for the typos in the last graf.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-88963375797289391682012-01-17T11:12:02.983-05:002012-01-17T11:12:02.983-05:00I'm not completely disagreeing with you -- as ...I'm not completely disagreeing with you -- as an African American woman, I'm well aware that black women have and still do receive different treatment and that this differential treatment and perception exist even at the level of clothing and self-presentation. Even today, if a white woman sports a certain style it's "edgy," a black woman doing the same is "ghetto."<br /><br />Having said that, I think that I have been considered "dainty" in the past. Black or white, it's a put down and an insidious attempt to control female behavior.<br /><br />Since we've started, let me get out my list:<br /><br />Being called "a young lady" when you're not a kid -- put down.<br /><br />Calling yourself a "girl" when you're of adult working age -- self put down.<br /><br />I'm also tired of the expressing "you're crying like a little girl." I know lots of brave, stoic little girls. I'm stick of this pervasive sexism in the language.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-20096101920803057582012-01-17T11:01:01.886-05:002012-01-17T11:01:01.886-05:00"Let's fact facts: nobody in the West exp..."Let's fact facts: nobody in the West expects women to be dainty anymore and perhaps that's a good thing." <br /><br />Gee, I wonder why women would not be nostalgic about a repressive social construct that renders them infantile and incompetent?<br /><br />BTW, real women do wear lace. If it suits them and their situation and if they feel like it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-23361340349826812572012-01-17T07:56:06.006-05:002012-01-17T07:56:06.006-05:00ugh. i HATE the word dainty. In my head i can sti...ugh. i HATE the word dainty. In my head i can still hear my mother saying (repeatedly as i was growing up); "i don't know what happened, you were such a dainty little baby." Given that my height comes from her side of my genetic make-up and that i grew up amongst three older brothers, i still cannot understand her surprise that i was never going to be the dainty flower she longed for!suziwong66http://www.suziwongcreations.netnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-79453670604164672822012-01-17T05:16:10.371-05:002012-01-17T05:16:10.371-05:00Interesting discussion. I'm someone who wears ...Interesting discussion. I'm someone who wears 50s clothes regularly, but have never worn the dainty type although friends of mine do. I think whether in the 30s 40s 50s or now, there are different types of people, I find the word dainty a bit patronising but I know I would never fall in the dainty category but I do have friends who easily could and suit that description.Straight Talking Mama!https://www.blogger.com/profile/13010105224878943505noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-17633078563467855162012-01-17T04:53:26.954-05:002012-01-17T04:53:26.954-05:00Peter, this is an interesting topic.....have you e...Peter, this is an interesting topic.....have you ever consider 'daintiness' in the eastern part of the world, where it could mean...gentle, soft spoken and respectable (I think)? Don't get me wrong. I am not saying that the western part isn't dainty, but perhaps we should not focus so much on appearance or the way we look, but rather of the inner beauty radiating itself in the form of daintiness.Laurahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03538376053305562124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-25136161160160518092012-01-17T00:24:13.585-05:002012-01-17T00:24:13.585-05:00"Ladylike" as a descriptor for a human b..."Ladylike" as a descriptor for a human being, sure, if said person wishes. But "dainty" should only apply to things, say, china or small dogs.Trystan L. Basshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08397943306522024963noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-19285490138813768802012-01-16T23:13:47.473-05:002012-01-16T23:13:47.473-05:00Daintiness is an aspect of cultural femininity tha...Daintiness is an aspect of cultural femininity that I cast aside early on when I decided to become an engineer. Sometimes I feel like I'm letting down my team, but most aspects of daintiness-- cuteness, ruffles, sweetness-- are not nearly as much fun as ballistics, calculus and material sciences.lwhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08731797783816953087noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-82271908814216475222012-01-16T20:36:57.975-05:002012-01-16T20:36:57.975-05:00Black women have never really been able to lay cla...Black women have never really been able to lay claim the dainty label, so I'm unable to divorce talking about historical gender stuff from the way it intersects with race. <br /><br />Dainty as a concept seems really dependent on putting white women on an inappropriate, restrictive pedestal. That is not good for women of any color, IMO. Dainty feels so loaded with expectations of decorum, of sexual inexperience, etc that I leave my use of it to inanimate objects. More power to women who want to claim it, but it isn't for me.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-5529166152528719262012-01-16T19:30:54.739-05:002012-01-16T19:30:54.739-05:00I think in Australia we now use the word dainty o...I think in Australia we now use the word dainty only to describe ribbon sandwiches and teeny weeny cup cakes!Cleverclogsnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-81291484474787160612012-01-16T19:24:31.402-05:002012-01-16T19:24:31.402-05:00I suspect dainty persists in things like handkerch...I suspect dainty persists in things like handkerchiefs and lingerie. I know I look for it in my nightwear.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com