tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post5287044203727511378..comments2023-10-20T08:27:40.314-04:00Comments on male pattern boldness: Should We Dress Better?Peter Lappinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05109154527996679077noreply@blogger.comBlogger74125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-56896246201140289672013-06-22T12:24:00.515-04:002013-06-22T12:24:00.515-04:00I love this distinction and I think it's an im...I love this distinction and I think it's an important one. And you are right about the 'celebration of little effort.' Hilariously for teens it involves BIG effort - time to make sure the 'casual' bun is pulled up in the right way and hair that doesn't make it hanging down right, etc. As the video on Erica's blog says something like "seeing kids in the university dining hall in pajamas but also wearing makeup - you didn't have time? I don't believe you.' Sadly the sloppy thing IS the look these days. The ultimate FU to society and parents. Alexandrahttp://craftnook.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-42152522979095138922013-06-09T00:55:41.383-04:002013-06-09T00:55:41.383-04:00I love dressing up. It gives me lots of pleasure a...I love dressing up. It gives me lots of pleasure and I very rarely wear casual clothes. But I don't give a sh#t what anyone else wears. Let the people be happy, let them please themselves! Seriously. They're just clothes. I would rather hang out with someone who wears sweats to the supermarket than a judgy uptight person who thinks trivial stuff like this really matters.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-12172167201268337442013-06-04T18:56:43.889-04:002013-06-04T18:56:43.889-04:00If someone needs example of values in dressing up,...If someone needs example of values in dressing up, this is it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-10011303123010027622013-06-03T11:44:34.166-04:002013-06-03T11:44:34.166-04:00LOL, Joules! I think I'll try that next time I...LOL, Joules! I think I'll try that next time I have to travel. I usually dress nicely for my job, which is fashion and sewing-related, and I dress down on the weekends and live in my yoga pants when I'm at home (but not out running errands!). My standard uniform in the warmer months is a nice dress, cardigan or blazer, and heels or dressy sandals; but I do dress more "English hunt-country" in fall and winter in dark jeans, boots, a nice top and a blazer or sweater. Connecticut gets quite cold in the winter!<br />But I usually dress more casually for air travel (although not the train). For some reason the train seems more civilized and is a far more comfortable experience than being crammed like a sardine in a can into an airline seat.<br />Anyway, I do get a negative impression of people who dress sloppily as being too lazy to put any effort into their clothing choices, but in general, I don't think it's other people's job to dress themselves to suit my aesthetic preferences, to please my eye, and to decorate "my" world. And that's how I approah my own dressing. I dress for myself, in what makes me feel comfortable and confident and capable in whatever setting I happen to be in at any time. I also dress in what helps me feel good about and appreciate my body, without reference to how others may interpret my choices (whether they're "flattering" or "appropriate" for my figure, my age, etc.). I dress for me, and I don't expect others to dress for anyone other than themselves, either. It would be nice to see others put more effort into their dressing, but it should not be a requirement. I try to treat everyone I meet with basic human decency and civility--until they give me a behavior-based reason not to. I don't take it as a personal offence if they aren't dressed as nicely as I am, unless it's the opera, a wedding or a funeral. And frankly, I haven't found that well-dressed people are necessarily well behaved. But no one should be denigrated for the clothing they choose to wear; only for their actions or behavior.<br />I also believe that the demand for women to present themselves a certain way to be treated with value or with decency is just one more way for the patriarchy to keep us in our place and keep our attention off of more important things than the way we look. After all, if we're constantly running to keep up with society's constantly-changing rules for women's appearance, we certainly won't have time for politics, empire-building, or anything else beyond the mirror and the male gaze.<br />All that said, I do appreciate a well-turned-out man. Stephhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12181928494578487821noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-42506723265728799692013-06-02T10:57:29.582-04:002013-06-02T10:57:29.582-04:00First time reader, first time commentor... found y...First time reader, first time commentor... found your blog linked on Already Pretty<br /><br />I'm a girl, woman, whatever. I don't like wearing pants and I detest open toed shoes and sneakers for various reasons only vaguely related to gym class trauma growing up.<br /><br />I wear a dress or skirt set and heels or boots nearly everywhere. I get constant compliments on my outfits and people that are meeting me for the first time are simply told by mutual acquaintances to "look for one that's overdressed."<br /><br />I have gotten jobs simply because I was the only one that showed up wearing something besides jeans and a t-shirt. I have gotten upgrades for flights, the theater, and the ballet because I simply "looked" like I should be sitting in a different part. All this simply because I hate wearing pants and tennis shoes!<br /><br />So, yeah, continue dressing down. Really. I like my perks.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-74877234123727820482013-06-01T16:53:37.970-04:002013-06-01T16:53:37.970-04:00I don't usually care how others dress with two...I don't usually care how others dress with two exceptions. <br />1. Wearing pajamas out in public. That is a pet peeve. I've seen whole families out in their pajamas. UGH!<br /><br />2. Not dressing up for special occasions. I've been to weddings and funerals where I felt woefully overdressed in a simple dress and heels. It seems people dress better to go clubbing than any other place.<br /><br />I do feel we have become an anything goes society and its too bad. Comfort does not have to mean sloppy.<br /><br />TiaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-25830917592326045422013-05-31T21:23:20.482-04:002013-05-31T21:23:20.482-04:00I just wanted to underscore the idea that the prob...I just wanted to underscore the idea that the problem isn't so much about "casual" vs "fancy" as it is about putting some care into total presentation and appropriateness. <br /><br />When I was working, I often got teased for wearing skirts and slacks (and slacks were usually reserved for Fridays). I live in the western US and worked in technical fields where jeans were the norm. But I found it difficult enough as a young woman in science and engineering to be taken seriously without looking like I just walked out of my dorm room.<br /><br />Now, as a stay at home mom to two active boys, I find skirts very impractical. But wearing jeans and a tshirt doesn't mean I've succumbed to sloppy! My tshirts are fitted, my shoes are never athletic (unless I'm actually working out), my jeans are dark and likely to be a trouser cut, and I find a scarf or pretty piece of jewelry can really make me feel "finished".<br /><br />Ironically my new "uniform" is still considered dressy by many of the other moms I know!leahElainehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07276000503539055648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-46704987626625419822013-05-30T17:28:00.989-04:002013-05-30T17:28:00.989-04:00I was thinking the same thing when reading people&...I was thinking the same thing when reading people's comments here... it would be interesting if the new form of teenage rebellion against their parents would be dressing better than mom and dad! haha (Because dressing bad is the norm in contemporary society.)Matt C.http://www.hemlocktailor.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-9049283371163460932013-05-30T17:10:41.822-04:002013-05-30T17:10:41.822-04:00"Dressing in a way that makes others comforta..."Dressing in a way that makes others comfortable is a way of acknowledging that we are social animals and of showing appreciation for our community."<br />So well put! What I'd like to add to that is: if you're dressed in clothes that suit your body and you feel good in them, then you send good vibes to your environment as well.<br />I am from Europe and feel that people there dress for the occasion, work, and as role models much more than they do here. Going out in pajama-like clothes and slippers tops my list of tasteless.<br />Clothing DOES send a message.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-21779972242772991002013-05-30T15:30:58.041-04:002013-05-30T15:30:58.041-04:00Peter, I often wonder if people don't care how...Peter, I often wonder if people don't care how they dress or they just don't know how to dress. Either way I find a lot of people wearing clothes I won't be caught dead in.<br />Reading through the comments comfort comes up as being anti-well-dressed. I agree and disagree. We don't have to wear shoes that are uncomfortable. I wear flats or very low heels (under 1.5 inches) regardless of the clothes I wear and still look good. I think it is a matter of making choices and not what someone says is the only acceptable way of wearing a fancy dress or wide trousers.AnnetteAKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03944902639007249151noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-4843465162054035902013-05-30T14:51:02.061-04:002013-05-30T14:51:02.061-04:00I agree with Gauss and Anonymous above. I'm ha...I agree with Gauss and Anonymous above. I'm happy to see that girls are allowed the same freedom to wear comfortable clothing as boys.<br /><br />And why the discomfort with people asking you why you're dressed up? If you want to wear a dress or skirt while others don't, why not own up to it? Why coerce others to dress as you do so that you won't stand out?<br /><br />As for the question of "why are you dressed up", my daughter got this same question all the time at her college dorm where she was voted "best dressed" and had the best answer to this: "I'm dressing up for life". And that reflects my feelings about dressing up as well; I dress well to celebrate the day. Every day.Catherinenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-90421260455723145942013-05-30T14:30:24.810-04:002013-05-30T14:30:24.810-04:00"I guess we need to find a happy medium."..."I guess we need to find a happy medium." Yes!<br /><br />It makes me happy when people dress intentionally, with attention to details like fit, construction and quality. A dash of style is icing on the cake. When others dress with intention I make a point of noticing and complimenting them because I think people who take time to present well enjoy being appreciated for their effort.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15711792521348799922noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-45094771129160597602013-05-30T13:52:44.167-04:002013-05-30T13:52:44.167-04:00I have been spending the last week, in spare time,...I have been spending the last week, in spare time, reading ALL the posts on this terrific blog! I am loving it and especially today. I despair every time I see someone out in public in pajamas. I must say that I do love clothes and putting them together in flattering combinations . I realize everyone doesn't see the point. But your comment about respecting others is excellent . When I retired 3 years ago I received a cute letter from a second grader who actually said she would miss my clothes! I guess I made an impression on someone.<br />Cherylhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05751989453706523363noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-69887999278545632102013-05-30T13:15:01.378-04:002013-05-30T13:15:01.378-04:00Underline the correct answer: Peter Lappin is a (v...Underline the correct answer: Peter Lappin is a (very good, very bad) influence. <br /><br />As a result of your blog I sought out a replacement for the Singer treadle machine that I gave away. I needed only the head, as I had converted the cabinet to use an old zig-zag Kenmore with the treadle during the decade-plus when I had no electricity. I was able to replace the Singer with a 1915 model 15-91 for a mere $50, and now have a project to revitalize it.<br /><br />Your current post has me thinking about how to modify my wardrobe and begin dressing with casual elegance and comfort. Let's face it, those 50s and 60s skirts and dresses were undergirded with ... wait for it ... panty girdles. As a teenager, I succumbed to the panty girdle thing with the garters and nylons.<br /><br />The vintage look is achieved at great cost in comfort, so, as a graduate of the Summer of Love, I cling to my stretchy cottons (natural fibers only, please) and soft flannels. These days, dressing up means color-coordinating my grubbies and ensuring they are clean.<br /><br />Still, Peter, your post is an earworm-a short melody I can't get out of my head. Are you a good or bad influence? Time will tell.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-65125603336945359872013-05-30T12:30:35.938-04:002013-05-30T12:30:35.938-04:00I think there's a difference between 'dres...I think there's a difference between 'dressing up' and 'dressing well'. I like it when people dress well. They don't have to be 'dressed up' - meaning suit and tie, or dress and gloves, but if they're dressed in something that has a style to it - I do appreciate that. I'm an American living in Europe - and even to go to the grocery store I'll consider what I wear (jeans, white button down shirt, braided leather belt, suede boots - as an example) just because most people dress well being out and about. Dressing well makes me feel better about myself, as well as showing respect to others. All having a style is about is putting some thought into what you wear and understanding how things go together. <br /><br />What I think is sad is that people equate making an effort with inconvenience. In American popular culture there seems to be a celebration of how little effort can be made to present yourself. Anyone can be a slob, wearing pilled sweat pants, or stained shirts, or pajamas to go shopping in, and there's certainly a limited time and place for that. <br /><br />What I think is incredibly unfortunate are guys I see wearing what they think are nice clothes (a suit, or jacket) and the fit is horrible. They've obviously spent money on their clothes, are trying to look good, and yet still don't because the clothes aren't fitted properly. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14181836160722708402noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-16120076637929569072013-05-30T11:56:00.758-04:002013-05-30T11:56:00.758-04:00I wholeheartly concur,....succinctly put my friend...I wholeheartly concur,....succinctly put my friend !!!!!<br />SteveAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-72655206449187837122013-05-30T10:35:12.659-04:002013-05-30T10:35:12.659-04:00I have been ranting about this topic on my blog.
...I have been ranting about this topic on my blog. <br /><br />http://www.lynnspace.com/blog/?p=3385Lynnhttp://www.lynnspace.com/blog/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-21998773487900441392013-05-30T09:33:17.035-04:002013-05-30T09:33:17.035-04:00I am one step away from turning 30 and what bother...I am one step away from turning 30 and what bothers me the most, and I do consider my self to be a young person, is that people junior to me have no respect to occasions and places they are going. <br />For example - wearing jeans and stretched out sweater to opera, wearing a fancy evening gown to uni graduation (we do not gaps and gowns here) <br />I try to dress acording to the occasion. I've had great teachers - my gran, who grew up during the war and post war and my dad, who is a military officer. I know what length dress is appropriate to an after lunch afair and so on...<br />I think that they should start teaching etiquette in schools...js! Aunty Maimuhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13924032493704361402noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-12689386738223676372013-05-30T08:52:08.818-04:002013-05-30T08:52:08.818-04:00I dress for myself. I try not to judge people by h...I dress for myself. I try not to judge people by how they dress as I have certainly been on the receiving end of being judged myself. I live in an area where people dress extremely casual for most occasions. I do love to see people dressed sharp and that can mean many different things but I also appreciate individual expression. I do think that lots of times when people do attempt to dress up they miss the mark because they don't maybe realize that they should iron their clothes or have the right hem lengths on pants and jackets, these little details do catch my eye. But, I grew up in household with a mother that always overdressed, would never let us wear wrinkled clothes and that sewed. maryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03912178296552987471noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-59406483093406923122013-05-30T08:17:24.962-04:002013-05-30T08:17:24.962-04:00I live in Hartford CT and I've seen many young...I live in Hartford CT and I've seen many young women in their flannel pajamas (most of which doesn't look clean) downtown on Main St.and can't help but wonder why??!!scorpioninbluehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12004830986247178040noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-66908508835147333432013-05-30T08:09:37.407-04:002013-05-30T08:09:37.407-04:00@ Jen in OZ
Funny you come up with 'this the...@ Jen in OZ<br /><br />Funny you come up with 'this theme' in connection with Aspergers, since in this 'Disorder scheme' it's a lot about calming habits, reliability and definitely not much changes. <br />Can you try to 'mantra' into him to please accept and stick to 'The contents' of your clothes since this might bring quite some 'calm' to him?<br /><br />LG, Gerlinde<br /><br />I myself go occasionally 'fishing' for a chat in being dressed up a bit fancier. You know: Australia = densitiy to catch somebody for the task ... might be sown a bit thin at times ;-) <br /><br /><br /><br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-66917663548511735862013-05-30T07:51:51.815-04:002013-05-30T07:51:51.815-04:00My son is almost 21. He also has been diagnosed w...My son is almost 21. He also has been diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome. This means (in case you -or your readers-don't know) that he doesn't pick up on social cues the way non-Aspies do; he tends to be a bit of a loner, except in relation to his particular obsession which happens to be trains (particularly steam engines, and within that subset, particularly Victorian (Australian) ones).<br />Your comment, "If we feel alienated by, or invisible in our community, we may choose to express this in the way we dress." really shone a light for me on why he dresses the way he dresses. His clothes are rarely clean or tidy and he wears the same style of clothes pretty much every day (I'm not inclined to ask him about whether they're actually the same clothes.) He also says he just doesn't understand why I would want to have different styles of clothes to wear for different situations or occasions. Ah the joys of being an Aspie's mum, who loves fashions of the 50s!Jen in Oznoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-86535098561018766282013-05-30T05:38:03.563-04:002013-05-30T05:38:03.563-04:00I agree wholeheartedly, Lady Jenn.
I too wear co...I agree wholeheartedly, Lady Jenn. <br /><br />I too wear comfy clothes at home, like yoga pants and sweat shirts. When I leave my house, I change clothes.<br /><br />Although I'm well behaved in any outfit, I do feel different in a becoming dress with matching shoes and purse. It's like I enjoy being civilized more when I look elegant.<br /><br />So far I haven't quite found a solution yet for looking elegant in the winter, though. I have yet to find cardigans or sweaters that are as warm as my hoodies, lol. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11260517203708400505noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-63096272820940704682013-05-29T23:27:50.597-04:002013-05-29T23:27:50.597-04:00I try to look nice. I'm not high fashion or an...I try to look nice. I'm not high fashion or anything, but I try to wear things I like, and still look neat and appropriate for the situation. I think that is what is missing these days: any sense of dressing (or sometimes behaving!) appropriately for the place and company one finds oneself in. Our culture is increasingly casual, but casual doesn't have to mean sloppy or overexposed. I think a lot of it is, people don't know how to behave in public anymore. (When is it ever appropriate to wear a t shirt with the F word on it out in public? That just seems immature to me, like a teenager acting out to show how non-conformist they think they are. Except, these are adults and really should know better.)<br /><br />I think the paradox is that many of us have so much clothing that we don't value what we have. Most of it is badly made and ill-fitting because no one ever taught many of us the basics of how clothes should fit, or how to buy quality and take care of it. It's all cheap, throw away stuff. <br /><br />I've also had the experience of being singled out for making a little effort. It's odd. My husband and I recently attended a funeral for a family member. He wore a suit and I wore a dress and low heels, nothing fancy but neat and we thought, appropriate. But we were the only ones there dressed like that. People kept asking us why we were "so dressed up." But since we had driven several hours to get there, we had nothing to change into, even if we had wanted to. Leigh Annhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17459054294111375380noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991166428290808171.post-53940398065181203952013-05-29T23:14:39.310-04:002013-05-29T23:14:39.310-04:00part of the problem is also money. I assume that i...part of the problem is also money. I assume that it's not so much of a problem in NYC, but in suburbia in the middle of nowhere it requires a bit more commitment. The shops are mostly chain stores and the second hand stores leave a bit to be desired. Also peoples understanding of what is appropriate clothing varies. I have some really large relatives that put on some ill fitting silk suit that I find much more offensive, that someone turning up in jeans to a wedding. Giggleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08687447086361922862noreply@blogger.com