As you'll recall, I asked for the worst of your worst knit nightmare stories -- and what stories you had! I haven't slept the same since and I now hide my serger in the closet at night. I'm not taking any chances.
This was a difficult contest to judge, but among the bone-chilling tales of horror submitted, one seemed literally to have been torn from the pages of Stephen King. Let's all read this together, shall we? (All emphases added are my own.)
My worst knit nightmare was when I made a long silky knit evening gown in high school. I used a red mystery fabric from the store where I worked. It had been on the shelf for ages and was about to be thrown out for some reason. I talked the owner into giving it to me, and made the dress in three hours using a zig zag stitch from my mom's vintage Singer. I would wear it that night to help host a charity dinner our youth group was holding to raise money for a summer missions project.
Well, Peter, the dress fit gloriously. With my teenage figure (same as DS is now), it was a winner. I felt like a movie star at the Oscars as my friends took photos of me in my long red gown, my thick brown hair falling in waves over my shoulders. Everyone wanted to know where I got my dress, and I proudly told them I'd made it that very day.
You would not believe what a boost to my confidence that dress gave me until...I noticed that people were rather staring at me halfway through the dinner as I made the rounds to the tables, asking the guests if everything was to their satisfaction. At first, I thought they just loved my dress, but eventually I realized something was wrong.
I quickly went into the ladies' room but didn't see anything wrong as I looked in the mirror over the sink. To be thorough, I went into a toilet stall and stood on the closed toilet seat so I could see myself full length in the sink mirrors straight ahead.
To my horror, the side seams on my dress had developed runs, and the runs were so bad that in one spot over my back right hip, the dress was nearly transparent. My white cotton underwear showed clearly. I was wearing a see-through dress at a church charity!
Obviously, I could not go back out there in that dress. It was about ten minutes before anyone came into the restroom, or so it seemed. The first person, who happened to be the pastor's wife, took mercy on me and ran next door to the parsonage to get me some clothing to wear instead.
For the rest of the evening, I hosted the dinner in a saggy, baggy gray dress with a cheap-looking faux gray alligator belt cinching it at the waist. Gray is not my color. I was a size 4 and the dress was a 12. But, I did get to finish the event.
The next day at church, several people told me they had heard that I'd been asked to change my dress because it was immodest. Someone had seen the pastor's wife bringing the gray dress inside and assumed as much.
For the rest of high school, whenever I helped with a event at church, people would tease me by explaining what "appropriate" dress would be for the event. We had a lot of fun with that, though I admit that as a teenager, this was really embarrassing to me.
I still don't know what kind of fabric that was that ran that way. I just wish I still had photos to share, both before and after. But, then, I am not sure I would want those after photos published on the forevernet (internet).
Well, Peter, the dress fit gloriously. With my teenage figure (same as DS is now), it was a winner. I felt like a movie star at the Oscars as my friends took photos of me in my long red gown, my thick brown hair falling in waves over my shoulders. Everyone wanted to know where I got my dress, and I proudly told them I'd made it that very day.
You would not believe what a boost to my confidence that dress gave me until...I noticed that people were rather staring at me halfway through the dinner as I made the rounds to the tables, asking the guests if everything was to their satisfaction. At first, I thought they just loved my dress, but eventually I realized something was wrong.
I quickly went into the ladies' room but didn't see anything wrong as I looked in the mirror over the sink. To be thorough, I went into a toilet stall and stood on the closed toilet seat so I could see myself full length in the sink mirrors straight ahead.
To my horror, the side seams on my dress had developed runs, and the runs were so bad that in one spot over my back right hip, the dress was nearly transparent. My white cotton underwear showed clearly. I was wearing a see-through dress at a church charity!
Obviously, I could not go back out there in that dress. It was about ten minutes before anyone came into the restroom, or so it seemed. The first person, who happened to be the pastor's wife, took mercy on me and ran next door to the parsonage to get me some clothing to wear instead.
For the rest of the evening, I hosted the dinner in a saggy, baggy gray dress with a cheap-looking faux gray alligator belt cinching it at the waist. Gray is not my color. I was a size 4 and the dress was a 12. But, I did get to finish the event.
The next day at church, several people told me they had heard that I'd been asked to change my dress because it was immodest. Someone had seen the pastor's wife bringing the gray dress inside and assumed as much.
For the rest of high school, whenever I helped with a event at church, people would tease me by explaining what "appropriate" dress would be for the event. We had a lot of fun with that, though I admit that as a teenager, this was really embarrassing to me.
I still don't know what kind of fabric that was that ran that way. I just wish I still had photos to share, both before and after. But, then, I am not sure I would want those after photos published on the forevernet (internet).
The winner of the first annual "Knit Wit" Giveaway Contest is.... PopoAgie!
This story had everything: high drama, titillation, misunderstandings, abject humiliation (have I missed anything?). Just think of what Jennie Garth could have done with such a role in her prime!
PopoAgie, to redeem your valuable prize, simply email me at peterlappinnyc@gmail.com with your mailing address.
I can't wait to see what PopoAgie makes with this pattern!
this is a great story! A worthy winner!
ReplyDeleteHee, that was one of my favorites as well!
ReplyDeleteYes, PopoAgie (what is that, Armenian?) is a born storyteller, if not a born sewist. LOL!
ReplyDelete"the side seams on my dress had developed runs, and the runs were so bad that in one spot over my back right hip, the dress was nearly transparent"
ReplyDeleteI don't see what the trouble is. Sounds like a Rodarte dress. Was this story submitted by one of the Mulleavy sisters?
OK, THAT made me laugh!
ReplyDeleteDamn you, Peter! My hubby went to a garage sale last Friday and dragged home a Singer 99, Featherweight in case. It's a lovely machine, with gilt decoration (a lot like your 15-91 except with the bobbin winder on the wheel and the tension adjustment at the front). I dated it online to 1936. I cleaned it up with compressed air and a dilute mixture of Simple Green. I believe it was in the home of a smoker, as lots of brown-yellow gunk came off it (along with some of the gilt). Then I oiled it thoroughly and used Q-tips to remove the excess oil and gunk that came off. After sitting about a half hour and then oiling again, it runs very quietly, and the stitches are pretty good. I think the bobbin tension is still too tight, but I'm sending it over to my favorite Singer repairman for a thorough going over. Maybe you'll win me over, yet! -- San Antonio Sue
ReplyDeleteOh, Sue...it's a slippery slope and it sounds like you're on it!
ReplyDeleteOh yeah, she definitely deserved to win! Too dang funny!
ReplyDelete